Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Las Aparicio Movie Trailer: First Impressions

Hello y'all!

First order of business: I changed the url and the blog name! I thought I could then grab the other url to put a notice/link to this one so people could find it, but nope! Blogger doen't let me even though the url is not in use. I'll keep trying to see if I can grab it later. I hope people can make their way here. 

Anyhoo, about a week ago the trailer for the Aparicio Movie was released and I've been meaning to post about it.

Overall, I gotta say, I am not impressed. I know I ripped a lot on the show (and that nutter Julia), but it still bothered me to see that the last chance we have to see the characters in action again was wasted like this. Maybe I'm wrong and it will be awesome, but so far I am not impressed with what I'm seeing.

Alma and Mercedes

THE RECASTED ALMA AND MERCEDES!!! We will not be seeing this perfection on screen:

I know it was probably due to some scheduling thing. I know it's not fair to compare the older actresses to the new ones, but I can't help but do that. Ximena Rubio and Gabriela de la Garza brought a presence and intensity to their characters that I'm just not seeing in this trailer.

But it's not just that. The storylines don't excite me a whole lot either.

Mercedes seems like her old self, at least, fighting for justice or something. We see her yelling at some dude about dead women and then we hear Claudio telling her she's putting herself in danger or whatever. But then later, we see having like sexual tension with some other guy? Or something? 

I don't know, like I can get the premise of her story but I can't really tell what her story will actually be about.

Alma's storyline bothered me a whole lot more, however. After spending 120 episodes seeing Alma dealing with her commitment issues with those two dudes (I forget their names), now the story is about that again? I guess?

Alma: In this profession one shouldn't get involved.
Dude: Not get involved or not fall in love? You're punishing me because of your own fears.

This new dude's penis is going to be more magical that the other two dudes' and will get her to love him back? Or is it NOT gonna be magical enough, and we will have a full rehash of the previous show? Cause if I remember correctly Alma fucking ended up single and empowered (or something) at the end of the show, because monogamy just wasn't her thing.

But that's not all that bothers me. There is also this:

Is Alma a prostitute now, too? Alma NEVER FUCKED CLIENTS. That's what the manwhores, and later Dani, were for. Remember, show? And it seems like she's even fucking a female client, which is even more out of character for her.

Frankly, it seems like, and this is a vibe that the whole trailer gave me, that they want to throw sex scenes in just cause, just cause this is about empowered women! So lots of sex for them all! So let's even show the lesbians in bed with a dude! But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Still, meh.

Mariana and Julia

Of course, this is why we watched the show to begin with. So of course I was fucking disappointed when I saw that their story seems to be about BABIES. Talk about lesbian tropes 101. Still, I'm a sucker for cute pregnancy stories, so I would've rolled with it if not for the fact that apparently the plan is to fuck a random dude to get pregnant.

IN 2015.

Mariana, Julia, my darlings, did you suddenly forget to use the internet? You know, that magical tool called google could have told let you know you can buy sperm online. Magic, I know!

Seriously, lesbian couples have been having babies using artificial insemination since like the 80s. For real. Julia is a lost cause, but Mariana

But who I am kidding? The show people obviously wanted to show them in bed with men, cause progressive! Openness! Revolutionary!

(Julia in some acting job cause of course she couldn't be baking cookies or something, she has to be simulating sex with a dude)

You have disappointed me, gueys.

From what I can gather from the trailer, they want to have a baby and decide to use a dude. Julia tells Mariana in a scene something like “Okay, but you're sleeping with him”, which leads us to Mariana looking all seductively at a dude and then later kissing him.

Gross! Barf! Insanity! Not cool.

I imagine, in fact I'm willing to bet on it, that Mariana doesn't go through with it. Also, that there will be some angsty scenes about some unfair Mexico law that doesn't let them adopt, and about Mariana hating that she can't get Julia pregnant like any hetero couple.

I'm still gonna watch it, of course, but I'm not completely sure if it will be normal watching or hate watching. But I'll watch it if I can and I will report back, faithful servant that I am. Oh god, Mariana am I turning into you?

Overall, I think the one thing that I'm somewhat looking forward to is Ileana with a gun.

I don't even know if that is Ileana for real, it could be Rafaela telling them an old family story? The origin of the family curse, perhaps? Whatever. She looks HAWT.

Frankly, now that I think about it, I'm not entirely sure of what exactly the movie is about. It seems like they are with Rafaela in some ranch and Rafaela tells them that they can't hide or something? Are they running from their problems (Alma from the dude, Mercedes from her lawyer problems, Juliana from Julia's scarves?) and hiding out there , so Rafaela tells them some family story and then they go out to face their problems? I'm not even sure of what the plot is supposed to be about. Here's hoping that at the end at least Marina and Julia go take a computer class so they can learn to google shit.

But I don't know, overall it doesn't seem too exciting, I don't know how much appeal it would have to the general public who never saw the show. But then again, I don't really know Mexico's public.

Today I leave you with:


How is he not dead? It's been five years! He was dying! We saw him die! He is buried under an Aparicio tree, isn't he? Is this a flashback? Did his goodness raise him from the dead so he could help some more poor people?

How is Utopio NOT DEAD??