I want to thank you all once again for all the nice comments, they really do mean a lot.
I also want to give credit where is due. There are some things, particularly nicknames, that I've heard around and incorporated into the recaps. 'Emo', 'Assmando', 'Assmanho' and 'Herpes' are courtesy of the awesome gals from the afterellen forum. The same goes for the tequila/muffin joke, while credit for the 'McTrio' bit goes to my pal from Mexico, Bere (you are from Mexico, right?).
Now, everything Julia related I came up with: she inspires the sarcastic little biatch in me.
Having said that, let's get to it.
Mariana's Loft. Night.
The girls are in bed, naked, post sex.
Julia's talking and talking and talking, while Mariana is doing what she should've been doing all this time: ignoring her. If only she had, she would've saved herself, and us, a whole lot of pain.
Anyway, while Mariana sleeps, Julia is talking about how incredible it is that they've been in each others lives a gazillion years and they still want to be together.
It is incredible, Julia. I've known you four months and I've been over you for like, two out of the four. I think maybe Mariana wants to make sure she gets into heaven, so being with you her whole life is her way of doing all of her suffering on earth and gaining her sainthood.
Julia: I love you. And I also think that it is super important that we give each other this space so we can talk. I feel like, finally, FINALLY, I know clearly what I feel, what I want, where I want to go with you. I mean it, Mariana. I really want to be with you. I want you to be my girlfriend and I want you to tell me if you want to, as well.
Well, Julia, I'm sorry to say, but you could take a bullet for Mariana, or for me, and I still wouldn't believe a word you say.
When she gets no response, Julia finally realizes that she was talking to herself all along (like she should be, always). She shakes Mariana a bit and she wakes up all startled and mumbling about the whatever dream she had. No further talking occurs since Mariana insists that they should sleep because they have to be on set early in the morning.
Mariana seems exhausted, gueys. Is that Julia's mind control secret? Wearing them out with sex so that they're too tired to think straight and then she can control them more easily? Is that it? Using sex to keep them stupid?
TV trailer. Day.
The girls continue their endless tongue explorations.
See what I mean? Sex is Julia's weapon. All this time I've been saying she's insane, but maybe she's really an evil genius. Or maybe she really is crazy and does it without realizing it. My world would fall apart if it ever turns out that Julia was smart all along. Life would make no sense anymore.
Much to Julia's disdain, Mariana breaks free of her crutches.
Julia: Why are you pulling away?
Mariana: Because we have to redefine the word 'talking'.
Julia: Okay, explain to me why it is wrong to deal with the important issues of our relationship along with some delicious kisses here in the camper.
You'd think Mariana spent a year in Alaska and Julia waited for her in celibacy all that time, so now she can't help herself.
The sex slave tells Julia that it is a horrible idea because anyone could come in at any moment (the Mistress scoffs at this) and because....
When she doesn't finish, the Mistress demands that Mariana tells her what the other reason is.
Mariana: The other reason is that...this dynamic that we're using is very similar to... the one you and Armado had.
Poor Emo, Julia left her traumatized and now she's seeing Armandos everywhere.
Julia: Guey, are you going to start again? Why? Why do you always mention him when he's got nothing to do with it? Don't even dare to compare the two of you.
Seriously, Julia? You don't know why she keeps bringing him up? I got two words for you: P-O-L-Y-A-M-O-R-Y and I-N-F-I-D-E-L-I-T-Y, both of which you were a part of with Armando. In fact, they were both your idea.
If Mariana was a real person and not in constant pursuit of her sainthood, she would never trust you again, ever.
Julia goes on to say that she no longer feels anything for Armando, he's just an ex that she cared about a lot. What does she have to do, she says, to make Mariana believe her?
The bullet thing may be a good start, I say.
Mariana: 24 hours without sex.
Okkaaaay. Mariana, that makes no sense. But if it will make Julia suffer, I'm all for it.
Julia: WHY? Why do we have to sacrifice ourselves like this? Where do you get that abstinence is the solution to all problems?
The sex addict (wasn't that Armando's deal? is it contagious?) reluctantly agrees, but only to show Mariana that she means what she said.
Just as I'm about to cheer Mariana on for (finally) punishing Julia, she goes ahead and asks if the 24 hours have started yet and more kissing follows.
Sigh, you keep disappointing me, Marianita.
Then, oops! a production assistant catches them in the act and the girls are all horrified.
Well, sorry to say, but you were just asking for it. It's like living with your parents and masturbating without locking your door.
Telenovela Set. Day.
The Sandra Guadalupe saga continues.
The mother is having a very serious conversation with Juan Cristobal Alejandro Salvatierra.
Really? This is him? He looks like a mortician.
Anyway, the mother is willing to do whatever it takes to make him keep her secret (that JCAS and Sandra are siblings). She gives him some ugly looking necklace or something, but it's not good enough, it's not enough to buy his silence!
Mother: Then tell me, tell me what you want. I will give you anything!
JCAS: Anything? Anything?
Mother: Yes, anything. Because what I care about the most in the world is that Sandra Guadalupe never finds out about this! Never!
Sandra Guadalupe walks in, she heard that last bit and demands to know what is it that her mother doesn't want her to know.
Sandra: That I never find out what, mother? Do you have something to do with Juan Cristobal Alejandro?
The music intensifies and they all look at each other in that dramatic way they do in telenovelas. I'm kind of confused, was that guy JCA or some other dude? Oh, well, he still looked like a mortician.
TV trailer. Day.
Julia walks up to Mariana, who is all worried because the director or whoever asked to talk to M'E'EC (Miss 'EX' Eternally Confused). After all their screw ups, including the microphone incident and the kiss, she's worried about their jobs.
Jules tells her that he just asked her about her work at '1+1=3', but he was looking at her funny, so she wonders if someone told him about the kiss.
Emo is sure someone did and that their careers as TV actresses are over.
What a ray of sunshine Emo can be, eh?
Mariana goes on to say that they might as well become orthodontists because their chances of being lesbian orthodontists are way higher than their chances of being lesbian actresses in Mexico.
Again with the homophobia, joder, stop.
Julia's all 'no way, it's not that bad' and proceeds to show Mariana how comfortable she is with her now by taking her by the hand and talking about shouting her love to the world and kissing her in public.
Mariana's all uncomfortable with the PDAs, but Julia kisses her anyway.
I know I always rip on Julia, but that was kind of cool. And sweet.
Aparicio Central. Day.
Mariana, Julia, Rafaela, Nana and Isadora are sitting around talking about the telenovela that the girls are working on.
Everyone is making fun (specially Juliana) of how ridiculous the whole thing is, with the over the top story, shallow/stereotypical characters, lame set, etc, etc.
While they talk about it, I keep thinking about the crappy telenovelas Eren and Liz have worked on and that they shouldn't criticize too much. I mean, 'decisiones extremas', anyone?
Check out how bad that is. Or this:
And Liz has been on it like 4 times or more, so...
Isadora is all excited and curious about the novela, she wants to know more, which is cute, but I'm afraid the corruption of her cuteness has begun. She wants to know if there are any cute guys with long hair or with short hair and dark eyes, etc.
Huh? Maybe we've lost her already.
Mariana agrees. She tells Isa that she's a baby! She should talk like one.
Well, growing up around aunts who are pimps and polyamorous bisexuals, bitchy cousins and grandmothers who were a hair away from becoming murderers, I'm afraid she won't be a baby for long. I worry about the things she'll have to do to be rebellious, because in this family just getting weird piercings and a tattoo won't be enough.
Later that day, Mariana and Julia are rehearsing their scenes with Nana and further confusing and corrupting Isadora by letting her be there.
Nana is playing Juan Cristobal Alejandro Salvatierra, and she does it in the funniest monotone-slash- overacting way ever.
When Mariana says her sappy lines about love and wanting to be made his, she goes for the kiss.
Julia screams 'No!' in the funniest way ever and saves us all.
Apparently the 'no!' was part of the script, but it was still funny. I love Nana's face.
I love Nana's face even more when they ask her to look shocked.
Lol. Funny stuff.
Tonight I leave you with....
.....Violeta! Because I kinda feel bad for here after those scenes!
Enjoy! (If you're mean!)
Aparicio Central. Day.
The rehearsal continues. Julia is still criticizing the script. She even says that it's really hard for her to practice seriously and not goof around because it's so ridiculous and fake.
You can do it, Julia. May I remind you of how you did THIS with a straight face?
Just put on the head band and you'll be good to go.
Mariana offers her some tips on how to do it, Nana suggests that she should use Rafaela as an example and Isadora is all 'what does it mean that Sandra Guadalupe gave herself to her brother like a whore'?
They try to explain it to her, but she has a hard time understanding how they could be siblings if they had different last names, and what it means to give oneself to someone and...
Isadora: Siblings can't fall in love, right? Because then you(Julia) would fall in love with my mom.
Las Aparicio: corrupting young minds.
Hey, is this Glasses!Mariana?
I didn't know there was one.
Short Armando/Dani update: they keep hanging out and working out at the gym. She's telling him about the show Julia and Mariana will be in. He's hurt that they didn't tell him themselves, was he so bad?
Accept it: they never loved you.
Dani consoles him by telling him that they're just going through their process and, when they're done, surely they will be call him wanting to be friends again.
If I was you, Poormando, I wouldn't wait by the phone.
Confession: Now I like Armando more than Julia. Crazy, huh?
Also, can you stop using the terms 'processing' and 'process'? You all sound mega lame when you do.
Aparicio Central. Day.
Julia's making popcorn and talking with her ma.
Rafaela wants to know how the poly thing is going.
Rafaela: It's been a while since I know anything about your things, your craziness, anything. Let's see, how's the trio going? Armando and the wonderful and loyal Marianita...and you.
Lol. Rafela totally likes Mariana better.
Julia scoffs a little when the word trio comes up. She says that she's been going through/dealing with some hard stuff.
Um, like what?
Julia: Among them, the fact that I've been very selfish for a long time, and now I get it.
Rafaela agrees that she was, and asks her what she wants to do with her life now. M'E'EC wants to be a strong, secure woman, a whole person who accepts herself as a bisexual woman by nature and who is deeply in love with life and Mariana.
Patroncita asks her then, what part does Armando play in her life now?
Julia: I think Armando doesn't play any part now, mom. Armando was a very important 'character' in the story of my life, and I think he always will. I will always have a very special memory of him, but our thing is over, mom. It's been over for a long time and it was foolish to stay there. I think that the best thing that the two of us can do is be friends, because I care about him a lot, but that's it. Our relationship was very unhealthy.
Rafaela: Yes, Armado was addicted to sex, and you were addicted to him.
Julia goes on to say that Mariana teases her that she's got the 'baby in the family' complex, that since she's the youngest she always wants attention and people to take of her and bla, bla, bla.
Rafaela is proud. I am not. In fact, I hate this scene because:
A: It doesn't feel organic, it feels like the writers were specifically making Julia say what we've been saying about her all along as if the self acknowledgment is proof enough that she's changed.
B: I really don't think Julia has changed, since I think that one truly changes through hardship and she went through none. What did she go through that was so hard? Being jealous over Dani? Oh please. Breaking up with Mariana? As if they were ever truly broken up.
I don't buy Julia's character redemption at all.
Later, Rafaela, Nana, Mariana and Julia are watching the telenovela.
Nana is excited about seeing the dialogues they practiced on screen and she and Rafaela continue to bicker back and forth like they married couple that they are.
Isadora comes in just in time for the show.
Dude: Etelvina Rosario Soledad, I have bad news. Sandra Guadalupe and her mother fell in the train tracks, they're unrecognizable. Etelvina Rosario Soledad, I love you, but our love is forbidden, you're the daughter of Juan Miguel Pedro.
Whoops! They wrote them out!
Everyone is shocked and outraged.
When Rafaela wonders if they could be killed off like that Mariana says they have to check their contract.
Whatever, as long as you don't start crying homophobia and saying they fired you over the kissing, then we're fine.
The next day, the girls are still pissed off at the cabrones who just killed off their characters like that.
I hope that, at least, you got paid.
They're even angrier now because Mariana checked out the contract and it says that they could be let go at any moment and without explanation. And, to make it worse, they found another clause that forbids them to work with any other company for five whole years.
Meche gets up in arms. That can't be! It's unconstitutional!
The Powers That Be continue criticizing the big channels in Mexico (that's what this is, let's be honest). Julia even compares signing a contract with them to selling their souls to the devil, but reiterates that they wouldn't want to work with people like that anyway.
Rafaela and Meche agree.
TV lot. Day.
The girls have decided to demand to know what happened with their characters, so they figure that it's a good idea to stalk the director.
He just tells them that the writers changed their minds and what could he do? Mariana demands a firmer explanation, but an assistant comes to take him away. When he starts leaving, they go crazy.
Someone calls security on them, and, not only do they get kicked out, they get vetoed (meaning that they can't work with that studio anymore), which, again, is paralleling a similar incident with the actors of the Las Aparicio and the Mexican Studios or something. I mean the veto stuff, not being kicked out of a studio (as far as I know).
Tonight I leave you with....
....Eren in the upcoming video 'Las alas de mi libertad' by Jamie Kohen! Because she looks awesome!
Comments = love!