Monday, September 20, 2010

Las Aparicio Recaps ep 64-65

What's up, guys?

With this recap I'm finally done with the ones I missed, so, let's get it over with already.

Episode 64

Aparicio Central. Day.

Julia and Alma are still bonding over tequila and trying to figure out if anyone has ever been able to make it work when they're in love with two people at the same time.

They can't think of any.

Alma is sure that someone somewhere must've pulled it off, but they probably kept it secret.

Julia: Well, that's what you say, but I don't believe it. Seriously, I feel like I'm going crazy!
Alma: You're not crazy!

Don't lie to her, Alma.

Big sis goes on to say that the idea of being with two people at once even occurred to her once (I'm guessing with Leo and Alex). Julia's face lights up: she wants to know what she did!

Alma: Well, it didn't work out because, look, when it's just about sex there's no problem, the problem comes when it's love between more than two people.

The two go on to criticize this awful, awful society that pressures people to just be with one person at the time.

Julia: That's why those of us who feel this, we feel like we're going crazy, because these ideas are too revolutionary.

You're so full of shit, Julia.

Alma fuels the evil fire that makes Julia think she's revolutionary, instead of a crazy person. She points out that our society is ready for promiscuity, but not for polyamoury. Julia mentions 'Big Love' and asks Alma to explain it to her or something, since it's just so very, very complicated to understand all these concepts.

I really wish they didn't try so hard to make Julia look stupid and childish. It's annoying and damaged the character beyond repair for me.

Maybe her confusions turned her brain to mush and left her mind too fragile, so she gets too influenced by everything, everywhere. Someone should send her a copy of The Children's Hour, hopefully she'll want to imitate Martha too and take us all out of our misery.

Am I too mean?

Big Sis tells her that the 'Big Love' people are Mormons, which is another story altogether.

Julia looks confused.

Here's some Big Bad Love for you, woman.

Mariana's Loft. Night.

Hernan and Mariana are still processing. He feels bad and old since he can't comprehend such ideas.

Guey, I'm 24 and I think they're all insane, so it's not an age thing.

You know what? I want to leave it clear that my opinions have nothing to do with the concept of polyamory, to which I can safely say I'm indifferent about. What I criticize over and over is a woman who is immature and selfish beyond words (Julia), who puts those she claims to love through hell just to satisfy her fickle whims, and the two schmucks who sacrifice their dignity and their beliefs because they're too codependent with said woman, specially Mariana.

It's appalling.

And then, to top it off, the show and the characters imply that we're all just too square to understand their 'revolutionary' ideas, the same ideas they spend the next 25-30 episodes teaching us about.

Really uncool.

Now, as I viewer, I can honestly say that I feel nothing for the characters anymore, and if I still watch is because I made the commitment to myself and to you, faithful readers, to finish the recaps. And because I got gueys to chat with when I watch it online. I can also honestly say that I can't wait for the next 18 episodes to come and go so that I can be done with this show and never watch Las Aparicio again.

I'm drained.

Okay, end of rant. Back to recapping.

Anyway, Hernan feels old. Mariana assures him that it has nothing to do with age or generations, she too is completely in shock and feels lost.

Hernan tries to console her. He tells her he had come in contact with the subject back in the hippie era. Emo asks him if he has ever seen a hippie from that generation who is still living in a three way relationship. To her, the whole thing feels like a temporary thing and she can't wrap her head around the idea that love can be shared.

Just walk away, woman. Please?

Utopio consoles her some more and offers to bring over some sodas so they can hang out and talk. Emo accepts, but she wants beer instead.

Joder, do people really drink this much?

When he leaves, Mariana screams into her hat.

Armando's brain.

The writers of this show are obsessed with alcohol and dream sequences.

Assmanho is dreaming. He's walking into his room, only that everything looks all weird and all sauna-like. As he walks over to his bed, he finds Mariana and Julia on it, possibly naked.

This will probably sound weird, but Mario looks kinda hot in this sequence.

Anyway, he goes over to Julia and kisses her while Mariana looks on. When he's done, he looks over towards Mariana and the two start to get close, as if to kiss.

Just as I'm reaching for a fork to gauge my eyes out if it happens, Armando wakes up.

Armando: No way. Not you, Mariana. There's no way you're getting in.


Mariana's Loft. Night.

Thankfully, when Hernan arrives, Mariana is laying in bed and he thinks she fell asleep, so he leaves, which spares us from some more father/daughter bonding.

Thank you, God.

The next day, Mariana is still processing. She's switched attitudes now, or trying to, so she's practicing what she's going to say to Julia, how the conversation will go. Needless to say, she's having a hard time and is on the edgy of a full blown case of the crazy.

Mariana: Okay, this is it. Julia, this is about love, right? I love you, so you're my everything, my whole being, even if you're not my everything because I have to share you, but that's okay, I'm okay with it. (as Julia) Ay, thank you, Mariana, you don't know how much I love you. (as Armando) And I love YOU, flaca. I love you more and better and I love you like a man.

The crazy wins over.

Sigh. I'm not even going to bring out our Sassy Gay Friend, you're not going to listen anyway.

Armando walks in and sees the show. He tells her that the door was open, like always, but he can go if this is a bad time.

Cuca, it will always be a bad time. You're there, no?

Mariana tells him that since he's there already, he might as well stay (wha? no! Not a good enough reason!) and that he shouldn't worry: it was just a pillow. He tells her that he's going through the same.

Mariana: You fantasize that I'm a pillow and you hit me?
Armando: No, no, no. I would never fantasize about you.


Armando: What the hell are we going to do?

Emo points out that there is no 'we', that everyone has to figure everything out on their own, specially Julia.

Armando: She's going to have to decide between the two of us.
Mariana: The three of us don't fit in the same bed.


Aparicio Central. Day.

The Aparicio women are having breakfast and giving Ileana a hard time, who spent the night in bed spooning with Bruno, but didn't do anything, which boggles Julia's mind.

Oh no, Julia is wearing that thing in her head. Bad omen.

The talk continues. Its highlight: Nana and her Melito stories about role playing.

Julia tells Ileana to enjoy this stage, before they have sex and their hormones go crazy, clouding their thoughts and feelings.

Gasp! Is that what happened to you, Julia?

Eventually, Miss Stick in the Mud can't take the teasing anymore and leaves. The attention is then on Julia, who gets up and walks away to study for her acting gig when Rafaela starts asking about Mariana. Like Ileana, she doesn't want to discuss her sex life.

Later that day, we get even further proof that Julia is a liar. Instead of studying for her gig, like she said she was going to, she's online reading up on polyamory.

See? Evil head thing.

Armando and Mariana arrive together, wanting to talk to her Highness. Julia finds it weird that they arrived together. I find it very appalling that Mariana has amnesia and continues to ignore the fact that the woman whose love she's begging for cheated on her with the dumbass that she's joined forces with now to force said woman to choose between the two of them.

Anyway, Mariana tells Julia that they've been thinking, separately, and have decided that they just can't deal with it. Both of them love her, Armando says, and they don't want to share her.

Mariana: You're going to have to decide, Julia. With him, or with me.
Armando: With her, or with me.
Mariana: You can't have it all, Julia.

Sigh. If only you really meant that, gueys.

MEC tells that she knows that she put them in a difficult position, but if she told them at all, it was because it was the truth, it was what she felt. She goes and on about how she just thought it was worse to keep lying.

Mariana: Worse than what, guey? Worse than this?
Julia: I know, Mariana, but this is what I feel. I feel that I love you both, really. That's the truth. And please, just give me a little bit more time.

Meanwhile, Rafaela just happened to be walking by and listens to Julia's speech. She's very disappointed.

I share the sentiment, Patroncita.

Mariana tells Julia that she sounds like a broken record (true) and that they've already given her her space and time, and she (Emo) is running out of patience. As they get up to leave, Armando tells Julia she has until that night to decide.

The compadres leave together.

If only you truly meant that, gueys. If only.

Later that day, Julia and Rafaela are at the kitchen. Rafaela wants to talk, it's been a while since they've really talked and she wants MEC to tell her about her life, or if there are any big decisions looming in the horizon.

Julia gets a bit defensive, she thinks that Rafaela is spying to her. Patroncita denies spying her: she just happened to overhear the conversation as she walked by.

Julia: So what are you going to say? That I'm wrong, like always? That I'm crazy? You know what, mom? I'm going to ask you a favor. Don't get involved in this. In other things, okay, but in this? Please don't get involved!

Notice how 'crazy' and 'Julia' are so often in the same sentence? It's not just me!

Rafaela tells The Crazy One that she's (Rafaela) no one to judge her or to tell her what to do since she's a grown up (she is?), she just wants the two of them to have an adult conversation about what's going on.

Julia: What is going on is that I'm in love with two people who can't understand that and they're making me choose between them. That's what going on.


Rafaela: And do you know what you're doing with them? You're treating them like things. Strawberry or Vanilla. Dog or cat. Princess or magician. Sweetie, they are human beings, they are not things.

Rafaela's word= still the word of God.

MEC tells her that she knows that, but, what can she do? When she's with one she's missing the other and vice versa. Patroncita assures her that she does know what to do, and that what bothers her (Rafaela) is that everytime she(Julia) chooses something, she immediately starts thinking about what she lost and doesn't value what she does have.

The Crazy one insists that things aren't like that, and that the problem now is that she's already made her decision, but since no one supports it she doesn't know what to do.

She walks away and Rafaela still seems disappointed.

During the voice over, we see Julia outside thinking and sighing.

Tonight I leave you with....

....more Big Bad Love! I know it's not Aparicio related, but I couldn't find anything interesting enough in this ep to leave you with!


Episode 65

Nana's Voice Over.

During the voice over, as Nana talks about opening Pandora's Box, Julia is in the yard thinking about the ultimatum she was just given.

Alma's Atelier. Day.

Alma is giving a class on polyamory. Julia is there in the first row.

Uh oh.

Isn't it convenient how Alma is giving classes on this topic this very week? The very week when Julia is having her polyamory crisis?

Ah, how good it is to suspend disbelief, eh? This storyline asks that of you a lot.

Anyway, Big Sis is talking about how polyamory is based on equality and how it is basically love between more than two people. She knows they must find it hard to believe and that making polyamoury work in real life is very difficult because it means bypassing the most basic human instincts: possessiveness, jealousy, insecurities. The polyamorous, she says, have decided to not abide by society's rules because they believe in trust or something.

Whatever, I'm zoning out. And I'm mad at you, Alma, for putting these ideas in Julia's head. She's gullible, I've talked about this. Don't you listen?

Alma: Now with this, believe whatever it is you believe in, think whatever you think or love however you love, but I want you to think about this: who loses more, the one who chooses, or the one who decides not to choose?

Oy. Why do you do this to me, Alma?

The wheels are turning in Julia's head.

Mariana's Loft. Night.

You ready? Because this is it. This is the scene that proved to me, without any shadow of a doubt, that Julia is completely crazy.

The Crazy One has decided that the best place to propose the polyamory to her faithful subjects is her girlfriend's house. Yes, the house belonging to the one she cheated on with the dude she also wants to date.

How is it that no one brings that up, gueys?

Anyway, Julia tells them to sit down. She has something she wants to share with them, something she learned at a class at Alma's Atelier.

The big topic of the evening: Polyamory.

Doesn't the little board make her look super smart and not completely insane? It was such a good idea, Emo and Assmando might have had a hard time following without it. She should've also printed out the wikipedia article and handed it to them.

She tells them that she did some research and there are different types of polyamorous relationships, some may be geometrical, like triangles or squares or whatever. But, that's not their case, she assures them. No, no, theirs would be a 'V' shaped relationship.

Thank you again for demonstrating what a 'V' looks like, oh crazy one.

In a 'V' relationship, one person openly has two parallel relationships. Both relationships would be equally important, loving and intimate. Both relationships would be based on mutual respect and absolute trust.

Over at the afterellen thread, back when things were alive and fun, not dead like right now, we made our own polyville chart:

I think our polyville is way cooler than Julia's. And fairer. In case you didn't notice, in Julia's V Armando and Mariana can only be with her, not with anyone else.

All through this enlightening little class, Mariana and Armando have been mostly silent and in shock, except for a few 'what?', 'how?' at the beginning of it.

When Julia notices that her servants aren't jumping for joy and embracing her super awesome idea, she starts trying to validate herself by saying that this is actually a very interesting theory that does exists and that if they can reach an agreement, they can make plans and rules to make sure that everyone is satisfied with the terms of the relationship, etc, etc. They can even have a schedule to organize everything.

This wakes the schmucks up.

Mariana: A schedule?
Armando: Exactly. I get Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, right? And Mariana Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.

Mariana: Sure, and she gets to rest on Sundays.

Armando: Sure.

Mariana: Because even God rests.

Julia doesn't like that they're making fun, this is serious business!

Julia: If I took the time to study this it's because it's a theory that exists and because it was the only thing I could do. I already made a decision. And the only thing that goes through my mind is that I can't be without you both. I can't be with you thinking that I lost you and vice versa. And this is the only thing I have to offer you.

She goes on to say that she understands that they need time to think about it, but the polyamory is all she's got and the decision is up to them.

The Crazy One leaves. Before Armando leaves too, he says that he needs some time to think about it.

Mariana looks like she's suddenly found herself in a madhouse.

There may be some truth to that.

Aparicio Central. Night.

Julia walks in on Meche and Alma crying and hugging. They've spent a few episodes fighting over the fact that Alma is a Madam who has manwhores, and they're making up and giving me funny feelings I shouldn't have because they're sisters.

MEC asks them 'what's up?', 'why are they crying?', but completely forgets about it the moment Alma asks her about her meeting with her potential man and woman.

Julia gets all dramatic, as she often is. She tells them that it went very bad.

Julia: You were right. This concept is too revolutionary for this world.

Meche, kick her ass for me will you? I've seen you do it, I know you can.

The Crazy One goes in for a group hug with her sisters.

Later, the three are on bed talking about it some more. Alma can't believe she actually told them the things she told them (she seems a bit fascinated, might I add), when she told Julia about polyamory she never thought Julia would actually propose it to them.

Are you really that naive, Alma? This is Julia we're talking about.

Meche admits that she's just speechless over this: her sisters make her feel like the abnormal one in the family because she's the normal one.

Julia continues to be her sane and mature self, of course, she even blames Alma for the mess. After all, it was her class that pushed her to it.

Keep going, this is totally how a grown up acts.

Alma is curious to know how Armando and Mariana took it. Julia tells them how the two poor schmucks looked like they were in some horror movie and all speechless.

Meche wants to know if they accepted, but Julia still doesn't know, all she knows is that she was honest.

Meche: Honest? Look at me in the eye, look at me in the eye. What are you looking for? Honestly, what do you want, sweetie?
Julia: I want them to love me. And I want to love them too, but I love them both. Is that really so difficult to understand? I feel things for both of them. Sure, different things and..

Alma: But, how do you know that it's love?

Julia: Because I feel it here (pointing at her chest). Because I want to be with them all the time, I want to share my life, I want to share what I am, I want them to share with me who they are. I want their well being, I want their happiness...that's love, no?

Bla, bla, bla.

Alma says that, in the end, there are no formulas and the only way they can know if it works is by trying it.

And more bla, bla, bla along those lines and they all love each other and I'm tired, so I want to speed this up.

Mariana's Loft. Night.

Emo is showing her bra and processing the insanity while sad music plays in the background.

She remembers sweet moments with Julia: feeding her a chocolate strawberry, when Julia told her she loved her and the one time they had sex.

The next day, Hernan finds her asleep on the couch and looking all miserable. He looks over Julia's chart and Mariana wakes up and mumbles that he shouldn't even try to understand that, she's decided that it's impossible.

Utopio asks her how things are with Julia. She says that it's all perfect and whatever.

Hernan: How do you feel?
Mariana: Good. Happy. Can't you tell?


Utopio tries to talk about it more, but Mariana doesn't want to, so he changes topics: he wants to talk her about her last name. He wants her to drop her stepfather's last name, Wilson, and adopt his: Almada. She wants to think about it for a while.

Tonight I leave you with....

... Isadora! Because her child like innocence is endearing!




  1. Well done for getting through these episodes!

    I have read all your recaps over the last week or so but haven't commented but kudos to you for the time and effort it takes. You sum up this crazy storyline so make it almost bearable! At least now that Asmanho (Lol) is out of the picture the girls can sort things out.

  2. Hi Nat, I just found your blog last night and I stayed up until I had read every word, needless to say I wasn't very productive at work today :-). You are hilarious, a brilliant writer and you are rather charming with your verbiage. Not many people can make me laugh the way you did with your re-caps, I was literally laughing out loud, so hard in fact that I was crying. I can't thank you enough for that, truly. I hope you find another show to blog about once this "crazy las aparicio world" is finished. In case no one has told you today - thank you for making my day a better one, you are appreciated.

  3. Damn, people. Those are really nice words. Thank you. I'm really glad you enjoy.