Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Las Aparicio Recaps 101-102

What's up guys?

In case any of you don't know, we have no new episodes this week: the show comes back next Monday. And for those who asked, there are 18 episodes left.

Thanks for voting in my Armando pool!! And, mostly, thanks for voting 'no'! Glad to see I don't have to spend too much time on Cuca anymore. If anything important happens with him and Dani, I'll recap. Deal?

Well, let's get to it.

Episode 101

Mariana's Loft. Night.

It's the hours after the sex, and the girls are hanging out at home. I always find it so weird when people have sex then put on the same clothes again and go on like nothing happened.

Did they even take a bath?

Anyway, Julia is trying, and not succeeding, to make coffee and Mariana is the living room, brooding. I think Julia might not be the only drama queen in this relationship.

When Jules goes over to give her some loving, Mariana will have none of it.

Julia: it clear to you now that I love you madly and passionately?
Mariana: Julia.
Julia: What? Why do you push me away?
Mariana: What we just did was sex, not talking. I think you're used to doing things that way, but not me. It's not like, suddenly, we have sex and everything is fixed.

Sigh. I don't mean to sound mean, but Mariana is such a lesbian. I also don't see the need for all the talking, after all we've seen, is there any doubt at all that Mariana will bow to Julia's will eventually? Specially considering that Julia's will is exactly what she wants too?

MEC responds by telling Mariana that she's doing what she wanted her to: showing Emo how much she loves her and desires her. But Emo doesn't want her to do those things because she wants to prove anything, Mari wants her to do them naturally, because she feels them.

Where was this Mariana when Julia was proposing V shaped polyamoury relationships? I'm starting to think she was relieved to share Julia with Armando because she can't handle all the crazy alone, so now she's scared of having Julia all to herself.

I would be.

The discussion continues. Mariana is worried about how long their love will last and how long it will be until Julia gets confused again and everything goes to hell, yet again.

I couldn't agree more, I could never trust someone like Julia, ever, in a million years.

MEC assures her that she's NOT confused anymore, she completely know what she wants and Mariana is it.

Yes, Mariana. Believe her. She has NEVER, ever, said this before then taken it back. Her word is gold, just go for it.

Julia: I want you to be my girlfriend, I want us to be together all the time, I want to wake up with you, I want to take care of you, I want to eat you with kisses, I want to hug you...tell me what you need me to do, what you want me to give you so you believe me, guey.

Well, I don't know about Mariana, but this is what you'd have to do to make me trust you again. Go to your black magic secret cabinet, you know, the one that holds all the instruments you used to put that curse on Mariana and Armando to make them love you blindly. Bring out your spell book and find a spell that will erase from my memory the last 50 or 60 episodes. I will even send you a lock of my hair if you need it. Once the spell is done, maybe I will be able to trust you again, for a little while anyway, since you're still you and you'll do something crazy soon. Now that I think about it, maybe we shouldn't waste our energy on this.

Mariana says she just wants to have a pretty love, to which Julia responds that she wants it too, with Emo.

Mariana: I know you want it, but...I honestly don't know if you can give it to me.

I couldn't agree more.

The answering machine keeps beeping until Julia can't take it anymore and she forces Emo to check the messages already. They hear Dani's message and Mariana calls the Saint Patron of...everybody (she's come to fix everyone's problems) to find out what the deal is with Ileana.

Aparicio Central. Night.

The Ileana news has brought Julia home, successfully cutting short the uncomfortable talk with her not-so-loyal-anymore servant who is rebelling. I mean, with her soulmate.

Mercedes, Rafaela, Nana and MEC are processing the Ileana situation. Before long, Rafaela wants to change subjects and asks Julia about her acting gig. She says she's got a lot of hours of filming, but she wouldn't miss the dinner for anything in the world.

What dinner?

It turns out that the next day they're having a dinner to celebrate what would've been Nana's 50th anniversary with her husband if he had been alive.

Alma walks in informs them that Ileana is not ready to come home yet.

I'd be relieved if I was them. Miss Stick in the Mud has her moments, but they're very few and far in between: she's mostly a bitter biatch.

TV Studio. Day.

The girls are walking and talking.

Moments like this make me wonder if TPTB read my blog and decided to give me gifts such as this:

Julia: A prompter? I don't know if I'm mentally and psychologically prepared to listen to a little voice in my head.

See? They make it so easy. Now I must say something like: "sure, I'd guess it would be confusing to add one more to the ones you already have there" or "Really? But I would've thought you'd grown used to the voices in your head already."

But then Mariana goes ahead and takes the words right out of my mouth!

Mariana (laughs): I'm sorry, but I thought you were an expert at that.
Julia: What? Are you saying I'm crazy?!
Mariana: You said it, I didn't!


I actually laughed at that. Good to know the writers know how crazy these people are.

Julia responds that Mari must be the crazy one if she can act with people feeding her her lines in her ear.

Mariana says she prefers it that way: she doesn't want to be wasting her brain memorizing the crappy texts they have to work with.

They arrive at their trailer and Julia, who is looking mighty fine with those sunglasses, tells Mariana that they can use their free time until they're called to set to process their relationship.

Emo isn't sure they can do it while getting dressed and doing their hair and make up, but Julia assures her that they can multitask.

I wouldn't be so sure that Julia's brain can handle so much activity at once.

Mari is doubtful, but accepts.

Trailer. Day.

Okay, this is just too funny and wrong.

Julia and Mariana are playing mother and daughter. To add to the irony, Julia is the mother.

My God.

Anyway. Mother Julia is complaining because they've been ready to go for a while, yet nobody comes to get them. She's bored, and she asks her fake daughter what they can do to pass the time.

Mariana is against talking because she can't even look at Julia in the eye: it's too funny since she looks like her grandma.

I like smiley Mariana.

They joke around some more until Julia asks her what can she do to make Mariana take her seriously so they can talk.

Naughtriana (Naughty+Mariana) tells her she can start by unbuttoning her shirt.

Julia does, and Mariana goes for the kill.

Breaking up must be the biggest aphrodisiac ever, these two have more sex now than when they were together.

I'm not complaining, I'm just sayin'.

A while later (for their sake I hope it's a long while later), a PA comes to get them. Thankfully, he knocks, or he would've gotten a show.

The girls struggle to get their clothes right again and mumble they'll be right out.

They finally get out and go to the set. What follows is comedy gold, recapping it doesn't really do it justice. Just watch it. The clips are out there. Daily and in motion. With a toy that may have germs. See if you can figure my message out.


Mother: Sandra Guadalupe?
Sandra: Yes? Mother? Is something wrong? Is your health okay?
Mother: No, my health is not okay, but that is what matters the least right now.

And bla, bla, bla just watch it. They're making fun of Mexican telenovelas, all the cheesy dialog, camera movements, melodrama and crazy music included.

The mother is upset because she's noticed that Sandra is distracted and lost in a world of fantasy and she wants to know what's up. Sandra can't deny it: she's in love ready? Juan Cristobal Alejandro Salvatierra.

The mother is not pleased.

When Sandra approaches her to assure her that he's a good man, the mother slaps her.

Mother: The Salvatierras will never be good men!

Why wasn't Julia the daughter? Seeing MEC get fake slapped...that would've been therapeutic.

The director yells cut and tells them to take it from the top: he liked it but wants the slap to seem harder, which, again, would've been awesomer if Julia was the daughter.

Aparicio Central. Night.

The family has gotten together to celebrate Nana's Anniversary. I really wish my family was this close, we mostly suck.

The girls are there looking at old Nana photos from the last century when she was young.

Mariana ruins the mood by asking Nana how Melito(her husband) died. Isadora says it was probably his heart because it was so full of love for Nana.

Aww...the innocence of childhood. Too bad it won't last long there, surrounded by bisexual polyamourous aunts, aunts who own male whores and bitchy cousins.

Nana pulls a Rose Nylund on us: Melito did in fact have a heart problem and he died of a heart attack while having sex with her.

Claudio and Meche arrive and the good hearted fun continues.

Have I said that I wish that my family was like this?

At the table, the Nana/Rafaela subtext continues, and they all talk and drink and are all merry.

Ileana arrives, but really, who cares? She's bitter and mean.

During dinner, Nana seems a little drunk, so she's all philosophic and talking about how love is like wine: it can get better with time. It stretches into the voice over, where we see all sorts of Juliana kissing.

Sooo, are they back together again?

I'm really liking all this affection. The show may have it's flaws, which I don't shy away from criticizing, but they have always been very bold and have never shied away from anything. They treat the girls like everyone else, which is how it should be.

I applaud you.

Tonight I leave you with.....

....melodramatic character of the week! Because, joder, the love of her life didn't just die, he died in her arms on the day of their wedding!

Enjoy (if you're mean and can enjoy something like that)!

Episode 102

Mariana's Loft. Night.

The girls are in bed, ready to talk. They should've stayed at Aparicio Central, where the party continues and Nana's kind of drunk by now. She's pretty endearing.

Julia doesn't like how cold and distant they feel laying in bed so apart, she feels that such an important conversation requires proximity...she can't even see Mariana well for God's sake!

I think she's stalling.

Mariana tells her to put on her glasses then. She does, thus turning into Glasses!Julia, who Mariana finds irresistible.

So, the talk doesn't get too far before Mariana tells her she looks like a sexy secretary with those glasses and, soon, naughty things start happening.

Sooo...glasses turn you on, Mariana? I wear glasses, too. Just so you know.

I don't think the talk will happen, gueys. Why get back together when being broken up is so much fun?

Television Studio. Day.

The girls are walking around the set, in costume, talking about their gig. Julia complains that their characters suck: they're shallow and have no depth.

Well, you might be insane now, but I remember a time when you were an interesting, complex character, Julia, and we had a great time trying to figure you out at the afterellen forum. Good times that are long gone now.

Julia continues to want to be a real actress: she needs to understand her character better and how she relates to people and how her intimate life is, etc, etc. Mariana reminds her that things don't work like that in the world they're working in right now (telenovelas) and bla, bla, bla.

They proceed to freak out when they realize that their microphones were on the whole time. They change their tune.

Julia: No, well, this is a really cool project, right, guey? My character is really awesome.
Mariana: Honestly this was a God send or we would be starving right now.

Julia scorns her a bit for that last line and they go back and forth in that way that best friends do.

Now Get ready because the Sandra Guadalupe saga continues!

Sandra Guadalupe López López is on the phone with Juan Cristobal Alejandro Salvatierra. She's telling him that she loves him and can't live without him. Her mother listens in on her and freaks out.

Mother: It can't be. My daughter can't love a Salvatierra, it can't be.

The mother falls and Sandra rushes to her aid.

For a moment, I think we're going to get some creepy mouth to mouth resuscitation that will turn into a weird Juliana kiss.

It doesn't happen.

Mother: Your thing with that boy can't be.
Sandra: But why?
Mother: Because...because that boy is your...

The mother faints.

LOL. Funny stuff.

Mariana's Loft. Night.

The girls are back from their exciting acting gig. They continue to make fun of it and complain, but at least now we're sure that nobody is listening in.

After the laughter dies down, Mariana brings up their unfinished talk, which means that more sex is on the way. And I think she knows.

Julia agrees that they do need to talk and proceeds to walk away. Once in the bedroom, she calls Mariana's cellphone.

Mariana: Hello?
Julia: Miss Mariana? I'm sorry to bother you, but we're doing a survey and we'd like to know what you're wearing today.

Mariana tells her she better see for herself and follows Julia into the bedroom.

More sex!

We don't see it, but we can hear Julia's squeals.

Tonight I leave you with.... night at Armando's! Because I wonder if Dani is fantasying about corrupting the youth!




  1. It's impossible for me to see these two as any thing other than friends with benefits. When Julia insists it's more, I think, "What a liar." And if Mariana were to insist the same thing (although hopefully she's finally learned her lesson, but we all know she hasn't), I'd think, "You're so easily deluded."

  2. "Daily and in motion. With toys that may have germs" i got it dude! :D
    i laughed so hard my stomach hurts because of this:

    "The girls are there looking at old Nana photos from the last century when she was young."


    "Sandra Guadalupe López López is on the phone with Juan Cristobal Alejandro Salvatierra"

    i love your recaps

  3. AWWW What a way to start my day.LMAO was good for me Thanks Naty.
    I do think they have been reading your recaps and even listen to me when I bitched to Tash about not seeing any lesbian loving and always seeing the straight sex shoved down my throat.
    I keep waiting for A/D/I/B to get a poli thing going.
    Is Assmanho ever going to find out his women are back together or at least humping like bunnies? Seems like everyone knows but him

    Is it wrong to want to know how Sandra Guadalupe López López and Juan Cristobal Alejandro Salvatierra are related and wanting to see more of it? That shit is to funny

  4. Thanks for these recaps!! It's nice to be able to catch up and see what's going on in this crazy world. :-)

  5. oh. so that's why there are no new episodes from that "toys that may have germs" ;) now i know. =)

  6. Am I the only one not getting the "toys that may have germs" thing??

  7. beyond words,still ur no 1 fan,wish u all the best,cheers.

  8. This recap made me laugh out loud!

  9. hahah I love your recaps!! :DD !

    Time for a new one, no? : )

  10. hi everyone . i recommend you guys to check this video is Mariana's new pompi(lover). it is so funny.

    Mariana and Ileana kissing, jajaja

    I used to think that Ileana have feelings for Mariana, and because of that she was mean with her, so this video make think they don't look too bad together,