Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Las Aparicio Recaps ep 93-94

What's up, guys?

Sorry for the delay, but my internet access has been sucking lately.

I want to thank you all for the nice comments saying I'm a good writer and should write my own lesbian screenplay, etc. You make me blush.

Thank you, seriously.

Let's get to it.

Episode 93

Alma's Atelier. Day.

Even though, thankfully, the professors have no class today, they decided to drop by to have coffee with Ileana. For those of you who don't know, Ileana has pretty much lost her mind since her mother broke up with Leo. She's crying all the time, being a bitch to everyone and basically having a serious case of the crazy.

It makes me think that maybe Julia's problem is genetic.

Ileana says that she's not interested: she has too much work to do. Julia tries to convince her by telling her that they know that she's got a mess in her head and that maybe talking to them, who are her friends, might help.

Ileana: You're not my friend, you're my aunt. And she's your girlfriend.

So? What's the problem with that?

Saint Mariana goes on to say that they know that what she (Ileana) is going through is very intense and they want to offer her a few friendly ears.

What exactly is Ileana going through?

I'm guessing they want to say that the Alma/Leo thing it brought up unresolved feelings about her dad or something.
Ileana is not interested and Julia, who is wearing glasses and is therefore in professor/therapist mode, presses the issue. She tells Ileana that she understands that the whole situation stirred up feelings about her dad.

Miss Stick in the Mud is clearly stuck on 'bitch mode', so she continues to decline their help and gets mad when she realizes that Bruno talked to them.

At first, the girls deny that he talked to them, but eventually they try to convince Ileana that, even if he did talk to them, he was just worried and wanted to help. They want to help too.

The Biatch tells them that they can help her by leaving her alone.

Hovering in the background, we see Armando and Dani talking.
There's that shirt again. Ok, list of things the costume department needs to throw away already:

1. Armando's long sleeved purple shirt.
2. Mariana's boots, no matter how cute they are.
3. Every single head band Julia and Mariana have.
4. Every single scarf everyone has: if they I have a hickey to hide, I would rather see it.

Armando calls over to the girls to show them who he ran into, and as we get a close up of Dani we see that she too is wearing an ugly scarf.

What is this? Are scarves a new secret code bisexual women wear to single each other out?

I get a kick out of the creepy ominous music they always put in the background now when Dani's on screen.


Later that day, the quartet are having coffee.
I must say, I prefer Dani 1.0, the one who was into self help books and yoga, better than this one, Dani 2.0. You'll see what I mean as we go along.

The scene opens up with Dani 2.0 saying that she has a confession to make: she too had a polyamorous relationship once.

Mariana almost chokes on her coffee and Julia seems very curious to know more about it. Apparently Dani, well, I'll just let her tell you.

Dani: Yes. An intense, passionate affair on a virgin beach in Quintana Rocks, during two weeks with a French man and an Italian woman.

Gueeeyyyyy. Are you making this up?

Julia is all 'wow' of course, and suggests that maybe Dani should talk about it in their next class.

Someone should really tip those students off and let them know that they're being taught stuff by a bunch of people who have no training at all. If I was one of them, I'd want my money back.

Dani doesn't want to do it, primarily because what the McTrio have is love, and what she had was " pure, hard, animalistic, primitive sex".

Gueeeyyyyy. Are you making this up?

Mariana keeps looking at Dani all confused, she doesn't know that this one is 2.0 and not 1.0.

I liked 1.0 better too, 2.0 is kinda slutty.

Emo wants her to spill the beans, but Dani doesn't want to, not in the light of day and sober. Armando takes the cue and invites her to dinner.

Julia tries to keep her promise to be a good host and asks Dani what she wants for dinner since she was a vegetarian, no?

Dani: I WAS. I was a vegetarian.
Julia: Oh, so not anymore?
Dani: No. During this trip I learned to let go of a lot of things I held onto, for better or worse. I feel freer.
Besides, the truth is that I've always liked meat. I don't know how I denied myself the pleasure for so long.

So, you like penis now, thank you so much for letting me know. But if you ever make the connection between penis and meat again, you too will be off my Christmas list. Don't put images in my head, I don't want to think about penises when I'm having some chicken for dinner.

For the record, it's obvious that's what the whole exchange was about since Dani and Mariana exchanged a lot of weird looks during the meat talk. In case you don't remember, Dani went gay for Mariana, she was her first woman. And, she's also been looking at Armando all predatory.

Who the hell are this people? Doesn't anyone believe in monogamy anymore?

Dani excuses herself and Julia rolls her eyes when she walks away.
I'm with you on this one, Jules.

Julia also makes fun of the meat comment by repeating it using her Dani voice. Mariana reprimands her and her mistress points out that Dani was looking at Mariana. Emo tells her to not get all intense again.

Mario (Armando) must have had an easy time with the latest scenes, because he's had, basically, zero lines.

Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Night.

The trio are preparing for Dani's arrival. Julia is in the kitchen working on the food while the compadres are setting the table. Total team effort, like everything is between them these days.

When Dani arrives, Julia rolls her eyes again.
Even though I fear sounding redundant, I must say it: Julia is sooo 14 years old.

Armando and Mariana are gracious hosts and Dani is gracious too: she brought wine and comments on how cool the house is. She says hi to Julia, but then things get awkward when MEC, after kissing her on the cheek and saying hi, starts running around the kitchen like a crazy person and basically ignores Dani.

Mariana pulls Dani away to the living room and Julia rolls her eyes again.

13, maybe?

Later that night, as the quartet have dinner, Dani continues with her polysex story. Since I'm not sure I buy it, I'll skip through it. It sounds like some cheap romance novel.

She had orgies or whatever, I don't know.
Who is this person?

Mariana and Armando are enthralled by the story and keep asking her questions, while Julia keeps rolling her eyes and I can't believe I'm with Julia again.

Armando is very attentive of Dani and offers her more wine. Mariana takes Dani's hand and tells her she's glad to see her okay. It's really funny to see Julia's eyes moving from one direction to the other, she's jealous of Armando/Dani, now she's jealous of Mariana/Dani and back and forth.

Her head will probably explode soon and we shall find out once and for all if there was anything inside.

Later on, Dani is curious about their polyrelationship. She is still so impressed and admires their relationship so much and now I'm rolling MY eyes. She says that she understands group sex when there are no feelings involved, but what they have must be much harder because there are feelings involved.

Julia, who has been way too passive during the whole thing, finally says that no, it's not hard. And when Dani asks if she can ask them a question, she says no, again. Of course, Julia says she's joking, but the hate is in the air. She's been behaving so far, which is more that I usually expect from her.

Dani wants to know if there is anything between Mariana and Armando. I'm thinking she's having all sorts of three way scenarios in her head, since she's a meat lover/polysexy person now.

Mariana says that, come on, Dani knows her diet is 100% women.

Thankfully, guey. All of this fluid sexuality is making my head hurt.

Since the people-who-stole-her-clothes-while-she-was-skinny-dipping-and-doing-naughty-things-under-the-water-in-some-virgin-beach-somewhere must have stolen her prudence too, Dani keeps pressing and asks Armando if HE ever wanted Mariana, who is a beautiful girl.

Julia gives her the evil eye, Mariana opens her eyes wide knowing the jealousy fit she will have to endure because of that and Armando says that he and Mariana are just compadres, buddies.

The ominous music is still in the background and I'm still amused by it.

I gotta say, Dani loves being the center of attention, she just doesn't shut up. She turns to Armando and tells him that she has always admired him for his soccer: she's a fan! I even think there's some flirting going on there.
I'm thinking Julia will turn into Hulk soon.

Julk (Julia+Hulk) takes control of the conversation and kinda makes fun of Dani by pointing out that she likes meat, soccer and yoga. Dani says that sometimes she likes doing them all at the same time or whatever.

Mariana drinks all her wine in one gulp, the whole thing is so uncomfortable.

Even later that night, Mariana and Julia go the kitchen for some reason. Mariana kicks Julia in the ass to get her attention. I must post a screengrab of it since any ass kicking Julia gets is orgasmic to me.
Mari points out that Dani has gotten very...loose.

Suelta como gabete, guey.

Julia: Dani, loose? I think someone else is loose. I mean, because I see that Dani doesn't stop flirting with Armando and flirting with you and from what I see, you love it. I don't know who's worse.
I knew it! I knew Julia had to go crazy before the night was over.

Mariana tries to calm her down by saying she was just pointing out something about the behavior of a friend she hadn't seen in a long time, that the problem is that the crazy/jealous Julia is coming out again.

The mini discussion continues for a bit more and Mariana laughs at the situation since they sound like crazy women who are losing it because someone is trying to steal their man.

Mariana: The madness has to stop, please!

Um, as long as you're with Julia the madness will never stop. Look at this crazy face.
When Julia and Mariana walk into the living room, coffee in hand, Dani says that she wants to go back to the 90s! She has a bottle in her hand and wants to play 'spin the bottle'.

Seriously, who IS this person?

At first the girls don't want to, but eventually give in.

This is SUCH a great idea, gueys, it's SO smart to play spin the bottle when 3/4 of the people involved are in a relationship, with EACH OTHER.

So, smart and productive.

At least it's not that lame ass 'what if' game again.

The four gather around the table and Dani asks who will go first. Julia says that she doesn't want to, the whole thing is so childish, so High School.

But, you're 14, aren't you in High School?

Mariana is on Julia's side, she doesn't want to flash back to her teenage years, which were just uncomfortable. Armando wants to play.

Whoever wants to kiss whoever should just do it and stop this BS. How many possible combinations can there be?

I see a lot of alcohol around, which must explain this little game, as it explains every big decision these people make.

Dani spins the bottle and it falls in Julia. Since MEC's discomfort can be seen from outer space, Dani says she should chill out since it's just a game, and she can spin again if it's too much of a problem.

Julia says that it's okay and goes over and gives Dani a little peck on the lips and says 'there. Who's next?'

Next it's Julia's turn, and the bottle falls on Mariana.

All cool so far.

When Mariana spins the bottle, however, Mariana's nightmare, MY nightmare, comes true: it falls on Armando.

Mariana is NOT amused.

Everyone, except Mariana and me, cheers on: they totally want to see this. Needless to say, Armando is quite happy about it.

I might have nightmares for a month after this.
Things get really interesting, however, when Armando spins the bottle and it lands on Dani. They proceed to give each other some form of dental inspection with their tongues.
Even Julia and Mariana are taken back by this.
They shouldn't be so surprised, Armando was always a ho and Dani 2.0 comes across as one as well, so...

After the kiss (which Mariana ends up breaking by yelling at Dani), Mariana and Julia look super uncomfortable while Armando and Dani laugh and overall have a good time.

I don't get their problem. So, I ask them:

Mariana: She's your EX, why do you care about who she lets put their tongue down her throat?
Julia: Aren't you a polyamorous bisexual woman? What about free love?

They're so full of shit, gueys.

Today I leave you with....
...... Rafaela 15 years ago! Because that's the dopest wig ever!

Also, as a bonus......

....Hippie Nana! Because I keep wishing everyone in my family was this cool!


Episode 94

Nana's Voice Over.

Nana is talking about transformation and bla, bla, bla. Julia looks over her sleeping servants, thinking.
Careful, Julia. You might strain your brain.

Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Day.

It's the next day and our terrible three look, well, terrible.

What's this? It's not like you fucked Dani collectively (spoiler: that will come later).

Everyone has trouble looking at the other in the eye and I continue to fail to see the problem. After all the polyamory and the living together and the sharing of Julia (even during sex, I might add)...a game of spin the bottle is what throws you off, gueys? Weren't you so enlightened, even giving classes and all?

Julia: Now what? Wasn't it just a game? Flashback to 1999 or something?
Mariana: Yeah, that's what it was, just a game.
Julia: Then why are we like this?

Yeah, why are you like this? You out of all people should be okay with sexual experimentation, it's not like you're prudes.

Mariana says something that I don't understand. I mean, I understand the words, but not what she means. I have that problem with her sometimes. I hope it's just because I'm writing this at 1:30 AM and not because spending so much time watching Julia is making me dumb too.

Julia isn't wearing her ugly head band today, so she is the voice of reason. She tells them that, back when she was 13 and played spin the bottle, she didn't have this moral dilemma, so maybe they should talk about it.

Don't confuse me, Julia. You're the crazy one, who will I rip on if you go sane on me?

The processing begins.
Mariana apologizes for inviting over Dani for dinner to begin with, specially since the three of them are trying to find equilibrium and D can throw them off. Julia agrees, for her it was very weird to have Dani there and then playing that stupid game was like playing with fire.

Juliaaaa. Stop it. I need you crazy.

The Queen thinks it would be better to not see her again. Mariana doesn't think they need to go that far, they just can't see her in circumstances like that.

They keep discussing it. Mariana has a hard time letting Dani go, Julia thinks it would be the best for their relationship and Armando will go for whatever they decide.

In the end, Julia gets her way.

So shocking, I know.

Bisexual Polyville. Day.

The girls went to the house to get a book they needed for their class. Mariana is online reading an email from Hernan, who insists in boring us, even from the distance.

The email, like always, is about very important and current stuff: a massacre in Mexico where 72 people were killed. They make lots of references to Mexico stuff I really can't talk about because I'm unfamiliar with them.

Still, big bummer, that sucks a lot.

Mariana reads the email and it reads like some speech a revolutionary person would read at a rally or something, which is why I say it's boring. I don't like stuff like that.

Meche's Law Firm. Day.

Mariana and Julia pay Meche a visit. They want to talk about gay marriage in their class, so they want Meche to talk to them about the legal stuff.

Al least they do research.

Meche enlightens us about gay marriage, which is legal in Mexico DF. The gist of it is that it works basically the same way as a straight marriage, only that one of the people involved needs to be a legal resident of Mexico DF. Once married in Mexico DF, the marriage is valid in the whole country.

All through this enlightening talk that is only useful to Mexican queers, Mariana and Julia keep sending each other little signals that say that Julia wants to get married and Mariana is completely against marriage in general. But, who are we kidding, really? What Julia wants, Julia gets eventually.

As they leave, Meche teases Mariana that she should get married already, while Emo continues to express panic at the idea. As if you have a say in your life, guey.

Alma's Atelier. Day.

The class happened off screen.

Thank you, Lord.

Dani, who was amongst the students, stays behind when the class clears. She's wearing an ugly scarf again.


The girls, who have amnesia and don't remember that they decided to not be friends with her anymore, go over her to talk.

The topic of the class was marriage. Since Dani knows that Mariana is against it, she teases her that she wants to be the maid of honor when them two get married. Or is it them three?

Julia: Well, besides, that will be kind of hard because the constitution says that TWO people can get married, not three people.
I don't really know what to say to that.

Dani says that maybe they need to keep fighting for more rights, maybe they will get it.

Mariana isn't interested in it anyway, although she respects everyone who is into marriage. Julia doesn't seem too excited that her woman doesn't want to get married EVER and seems annoyed that this is the first time she's heard of this, while Dani seems to be in the loop about it.

Julia: Well, for example, in my case, it's not like it's this dream for me, nor do I see myself with the white dress and the party and the whole thing...
Dani: And the bouquet.
Julia: Ay, imagine that. No, but, I don't get it. I didn't know, since when you have that clear rejection towards marriage?

Mariana says she's felt that way for a long time and that she actually believes that marriage is a devil's act.


Mariana: Besides, don't get me wrong, my love, but I don't want to test the curse. I would like to stay alive a little while longer. Just a little bit.

Lol, again.

Hey, maybe Julia should marry Armando, then.
Julia tells Mariana to not fool around, that if she doesn't want to marry her, then she needs to come up with a real excuse and not her family curse. Dani says that, considering the horrible experiences they've had with marriage in their families, it's understandable that they don't believe in it.

Armando walks in and him and Dani keep looking at each other kinda funny.

Later on, the three have to go because they have to go to the theater to see a cool piece called 'Realidades Encontradas', which is a real piece by the way, written or produced or something by Tania Angeles (who plays Dani). I think Tash Ybarra is involved in it too.
So, we not only get PSAs, we get commercials too.

Dani tells them to have fun, but Mariana disobeys her Mistress's command and invites her to come with them.

Armando likes the idea too, so Julia, faced with a revolution in her hands (and I do like this one), grudgingly accepts.

Off to the theater they go.

Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Night.

The foursome are back from the theater. Since there's not enough time or budget for anything that isn't in the Bisexual Polyvilles, we don't get to see the play or their night out.

Dani and Armando are all excited talking about the play, while Mariana and Julia look exhausted (as am I, damn recapping these latest episodes is taking me forever).

Julia points out how tired they are and what a day they've had, but Dani and Armando's batteries are being recharged by their desire to fuck I suppose, since they don't get the hint. Dani wants them to get some drink and continue the debate, Armando seems more than happy to oblige.

Sleppy!Julia is very sleepy. She can barely talk, much less debate. In fact, she says, her brain has been disconnected since the middle of the play.

I'm not sure it was ever connected in the first place, Julia.

It doesn't matter, though. Dani has come and has knocked over the power structures in the royal court, so the servants are no longer listening to the Queen.

Armando brings out the beers and they wonder out loud what they can talk about or what they can play to pass the time.

Mariana whines that she's getting a beer belly.

Considering the copious amounts of alcohol you consume, I think it is a real possibility, so, get your act together, guey.

Dani suggests that they should play strip poker.

Again, who IS this person?
Julia and Mariana seem reluctant at first, but, since Armando and Dani are the Queen and King now, they give in.
Nana's Voice Over.
During the voice over, Nana talks about transformation again and about how, sometimes, 2 can turn into 3, and, maybe, 3 into 4. Then, how to stop?

Maybe they DON'T want to stop, maybe they want to make a polyville for real.

And tonight I leave you with.....

....Ximena! Because her acting when Rafaela said she was responsible for Maximo's death was awesome!

Comments = love!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Las Aparicio Recaps ep 91-92

What's up, guys?

I must admit, my queer stories have been disappointing me a lot lately. I don't think I need to father explain my frustrations with Las Aparicio (that's what the blog is for, no?). But lately I've been wanting to kill the writers on AETR too...they've had more than 500 episodes to resolve Ana and Teresa properly, did they need another 500? God.

Is it too much to ask for lesbian stories where the characters act like real people? Where things are coherent?

They don't even have to end together, just be coherent.

Seriously, Jesus.

Once again, thanks for all the comments and support. And welcome, new followers!

Let's get to it.

Episode 91

Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Day.

Spending a copious amount of time with Julia is a very dangerous thing. Not just because she might drive you to murder/suicide with her confusions, immaturity and possessive jealousy, but because she will pass those traits on to yourself. The Armando/Julia merger must have already begun since he's being as bratty and immature as she is.

The trio are in the kitchen hanging out, as they often do.

PArmando (Passive Agressive+ Armando) is making himself s sandwich and brooding. He's still hurt over the talk he had with Julia the night before, so he asks them if they had a nice time while he was away.

You have a tree in the middle of your kitchen? What the hell, guey?

Armando's house is very hippie. I must confess that I like it. Can he afford it on a coach's salary, though? Maybe he has soccer money left over.

Mariana's already had her pill today, you know, the valemadrina she so often speaks of and that makes her okay with all this, so she doesn't catch his tone and sweetly answers that things were chill, they were just occupied with the classes at the Atelier. I wonder if that pill is what's kept her from being infected by Julia's craziness after being around her so long.

Or maybe the craziness doesn't affect robots.

Is she a person or a robot? My theories are confusing me now.

Armando: So you had time to be chill and be alone, no?

Julia does catch his tone (takes one to know one) and asks him, not so sweetly, if he's gonna start the same thing again.

She totally doesn't like him anymore, my friends.

Mariana asks what's up and Julia tells her that Armando thinks that when he's not home they're going at it everywhere, like sex machines.

Huh. Robots then? Maybe some chip in Julia's head malfunctioned because of all the head bands and that's why she's like she is.

Funriana (fun+Mariana), whom I like very much, laughs at the idea.

Funriana: Yeah, yesterday we fucked on the stove, on the refrigirator, on the washing machine...

She even makes suggestive moves to go along with the jokes and she and Julia have a nice laugh.

Armando doesn't really find it funny and storms out in a huff.

Julia isn't proud of the progress he's making in his process of becoming just like her, so she just ignores his tantrum.

Mariana, who may or may not be a robot, but perhaps is a saint too, follows him out and tries to offer comfort.

At first he denies that there's anything wrong, but Mariana makes them all sit down to talk like the grown polyamorous people that they are.

The children are reluctant at first, but Momriana (Mom+Mariana) makes them respect her autori-TAH.

I heart Cartman.

Finally, Armando spits it out: Julia loves Mariana more than him.

Yes, all the universes in all the galaxies know, guey. The real question is: why do you all love HER?

Julia denies saying that, but I must point out she doesn't deny feeling it (DUH). She says that maybe she's closer to Mariana because....

Mariana : Because we work together.

What the hell, Mariana? Let her finish. You're the one who ends up winning.

Or maybe not. I think having Julia all for yourself may be more a punishment than a prize.

Mariana tells them to chill out : don't they remember why they're in that mess to begin with? Because Julia loves them both.

Armando isn't convinced, but Julia tells him that things ARE like that (yeah, right) and that neither of them have the right to tell her who she loves more or whatever.

Of course not, how can they forget you're the one with all the rights, Julia?

I never forget.

Julia gets agitated and reiterates that they're in that relationship because she couldn't choose between them both, a relationship that it's supposed to be based on trust...a relationship Armando is disrespecting right now by being like this.

How can he forget your feelings are all that matter? I'm sure it's number one in your poly manual. Such an asshole this guey, Julia. You should totally be pissed at him.

Julia goes on to say that the whole situation is making her feel like they're making her choose again, which she won't do.

Obviously, she won't. Who wouldn't want constant servants/sex slaves?

Mariana cools them down and says things aren't like that. She tells Armando that she (Mariana) and him are pals, and that nothing like what he thinks it's going on it's happening.

They shake hands.

Well, Armando, when your girlfriend's girlfriend is nicer to you than your own girlfriend, you just know bad things are coming.

Julia continues to seem annoyed as the other two make up, and she walks away muttering something about breakfast.

Mariana and Armando's bromance continues to flourish.

You know, when this is all over, Mariana and Armando are going to be closer friends than Armando and Julia.

This show is like the twilight zone.

Alma's Atelier. Day.

The Pato class continues.

Yay. I'm so (not) excited.

And get ready because it will continue through the week...I like it better when they cook. I hope Alma's a bad pay, so they have to stop these PSAs.

Armando's there too, strictly as a model, since he doesn't talk at all.

Today, the class is about bisexuality and polyamory.

Julia gets points for admitting out loud that she's in a polyamorous relationship...I didn't think she'd have the balls. Although, considering she has two sets of ovaries and a set of balls in her possesion, maybe it's not so far fetched she'd dare to do that.


They talk about how people tend to divide themselves in two teams: gays and straights. But they forget about a third team, the one who bats for both teams: bisexuals.

Since they're always wanting to enlighten me by telling me things I already know, Julia talks about how they're a minority (but not so much since she feels there's a lot more closeted) who get heat both from the straights and the gays and are considered promiscuous, untrustworthy and undecided, by both bands. She goes on to say, of course, that all that is not true: bisexuals feel love and desire for both sexes and that is all.

Then bla, bla, bla for all the eternity again,

Somewhere along the way, when they're talking about team 1 (straights), team 2 (gays) and team 3 (bisexuals), Dani, Mariana's Ex, walks in.

Dani: And what about team number four? Those of us who are not into labels?

Since when are you not into labels Dani? I could give you all a spoiler about that, but, not. Also, since I respect you, my dear readers, I will not say what I think about the whole 'no labels' thing.

Mariana seems genuinely happy to see Dani. Julia does not.

As the class progresses and the trio start getting into polyamory, Dani seems fascinated at the idea, particularly when she learns that Mariana is in a poly relationship with Julia and Armando.

Well, Dani, that's our reaction to this too. Someone should make an animated gif of it.

Julia goes on to clarify that bisexuality has nothing to do with polyamory: a bisexual person doesn't necessarily love two people at the same time, but a polyamorous person, like her, does.

Julia: I am a bisexual woman, who loves her boyfriend, her male partner, very much, who also loves her female partner very much.

These people are soo high up on their horse I hope they fall on their asses soon. Julia, nobody gives a crap about you, seriously.

The endless PSA continues and Mariana reminds everyone that respect is all that matters, and that if we're going to fall under the rainbow umbrella, we need to accept all colors.

Fine. I'll do anything if it'll shut you up. I hate lectures.

After class, Dani, Mariana and Julia are talking.

Dani, of course, is the center of all attention. Dani's happy Juliana are together, she always knew they would end there. She continues to be very curious about the poly thing, but before she can properly ask Mariana if she is with Armando as well (Mari's gayness is legendary, so she's taken back by that, I suppose), Julia stops her and tells her that, yes, Armando is with them too.

Julia feels very threatened by Dani, y'all.

And I must say that with every episode,her personality makes her even more unattractive to me. I kinda pity Mariana.

Professor Julia is very defensive and asks Dani if she has a problem with their polyness. She doesn't, on the contrary, she finds it incredible and revolutionary.

There's the 'R' word again. For the last time, it is NOT revolutionary. At this point, I think Julia's going through with this relationship partly because she feels so proud that she's so revolutionary.

Eventually Armando walks in and compliments Dani on how great she looks and asks her what she's been up to. She says she's been traveling and stuff and the three (A-M-D) talk and laugh all cool. Julia, not so much.

I wonder if jealousy can make someone's head explode.

Mariana invites Dani to dinner so she can tell them all about the trip and show them pictures.

Uh oh, Mariana, who said you can make decisions without consulting your queen first?

Julia is not pleased, although she hides it with a smile.

Bisexual Polyville. Night.

Armando's not home and Julia's on the couch pretending to read a book. She's mad and monosyllabic when Mariana speaks to her: she obviously wants Mariana to ask her what's up.

When she does and Julia continues to ignore her, Mariana proceeds to kinda apologize, you know, for the nothing wrong she's done.

Mariana: I ran into my ex girlfriend and I was really glad to see her, she's a really cool chick. You're acting like I fucked her right there in front of you or something.
Julia: That's what you'd want isn't it?

My God. This chick leaves me speechless. Her immaturity and selfishness know no boundaries... I don't even like crazy Julia anymore.

Mariana: I just want us to invite her here, to the house, as friends.
Julia: How is she going to be your friend if she's your ex?

Mariana: The same way I'd like you to be my friend when you're my ex.

Julia: So, now you're saying you and I are going to break up or what?

And so it's on!

Since Mariana must be in love with some fake Julia she made up in her head and not the real one, she asks Julia to not be irrational and that she was just being sarcastic. Doesn't she understand sarcasm? Does she(mari) have to explain it to her?

This prompts Julia to get even crazier. They take the fight to the kitchen.

Julia: You don't have to explain me anything. I'm not an idiot or a child, of course I understood you!

Allow me to...

That's not me, by the way.

The fight continues.

Mariana: Ok, then stop acting like one, ok? Besides being my ex, Dani is a very cool girl, a good friend, ok?

The same way you can't ask an apple tree to give you bananas, you can't ask Julia to give you rationality, Mariana. Don't waste your breath.

Mari goes on to tell Julia that she better know that in lesbians circles, most girls are ex girlfriends, probably because of the lack of prospects. Julia will hear nothing of it. She asks Mariana that if Dani was so awesome, why did she break up with her? Crazy!Julia also doesn't like that Mariana is joking about the lesbians circles and she's very mad because she didn't like the way her servant was looking at Dani at the Atelier.

So, now Julia also wants to control how her servants look at people. It's not enough that she controls their bodies, genitals, reproductive systems and feelings.

Awesome. I keep wondering what the source of her power is. Do you have any theories? Black magic, maybe? Because I refuse to believe that she is THAT good in bed.

The fight continues and escalates.

Mariana: Dani is my ex girlfriend. Whether you understand it or not, I need you to trust me. Julia: And how am I supposed to trust you? Don't you remember that you were the Gay Queen of the Juares Colony? Or have you forgotten that?

Damn, I would've like to have seen that. I'm guessing Mariana got around. Score! Thank God Julia isn't the only woman she's been with...she might have scared Mari straight and we would've lost her.

Mariana: You know what? You have no right to talk about trust, because before of all this polyamory shit, you cheated on me with Armando, ok?


FINALLY she brings that up! And it only took what? 28 episodes or something? Are you getting your ovaries back, guey?

Mariana continues to tell Julia to just trust her. The Queen doesn't know what backing down means, so she says that she'll trust Mariana but not Dani, who she barely knows.

By now, Emo is losing her patience. She tells Julia to give Dani a break, that they wouldn't even be together if Dani hadn't left her because she knew they were in love.

Julia didn't know this. She switches from jealous to insecure, which is her real problem, of course.

Julia: I'm sorry it's just that...just imagining you with anyone else...makes me feel like I'm dying.

Melodramatic too, girl?

Mariana: But I'm right here, damn it. I'm here. Despite the 10,000 conditions that you've put on me, I'm here aren't I? Despite the fact that I have you share you, I haven't gone anywhere. What are you going to do, Julia? Look at me. What are you going to do with how much I love you?

Emo is a charmer, ain't her?

And Mariana, we know you're there, what we don't understand is WHY. Are you like Xena? Is being with Julia your atonement for some evil deed? Because I still don't get it.

El amor sí que apendeja, gueys.

And see how things fun are when they act like real people instead of robots? This scene was even kinda hot.

Tonight I leave you with....

...Dianita! Because she's into swinging and orgies! Mexico DF must be the center of all things queer, gueys!


Episode 92

Nana's Voice Over

Good things are happening.

The girls are having angry sex? Jealous sex? I don't know, some kind of sex.

They're trying to make it all intense and needy, but I'm not buying the acting.


Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Night.

The unsexy sex continues.

Julia stops in the middle of it.

Julia: Tell me you're mine.
Mariana: I'm yours. Tell me I'm the love of your life.
Julia: Yes.

Mariana: Say it.

Julia: You're the love of my life.

They resume their activities.

Wow. So I guess sex is like alcohol, when it gets in, the truth comes out. Those two just blurted out their biggest insecurities, but it felt wrong, considering where it happened.

And I'm sorry to say, these two actresses don't have good kissing/bed chemistry. They should check out fingersmith to get some tips.

Later that night, Armando walks in on them post sex. He's a mini Julia now, so he's instantly jealous and pissed.

Armando: Fuck!
Mariana: What? What's wrong?
Armando: What's wrong is that I feel like the idiot who gets home and finds his wife with a ....with some asshole.
Julia: Well, I'm not your wife.
Mariana: And I'm not some asshole.

I continue to get sadistic pleasure from seeing all of this happen in Armando's house and in his bed.

Mariana tells him they just had some jealous Julia issues to work through.

Sex is the best medicine for many things, I say.

Julia admits that she had a huge jealous attack because of Dani, and when Mariana points out how irrational she was, Julia admits that jealousy always is.

Interesting. So, sex is what clears your head and makes you rational, Julia? Because you just sounded like a sane person.

Meanwhile, I think Armando wishes that Julia got jealous over him sometime. Remember, this is like the third jealous fit she's had over Mariana. Over him? Zero.

Things continue to be awkward, and Armando tries to use some authori-TAH he just doesn't have: he tells them that if this is over Dani, then they better control themselves when she comes over for dinner.

Ja! As if your word matters, guey.

Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Day.

The girls are hanging out minus Armando. Dani's coming over for dinner and Mariana asks Julia if she really is okay with that.

You know what? I got another theory to explain why Mariana is so perfect. During one of Julia's black magic rituals something went wrong and Julia got all the crazy, while Mariana got all the sanity. Together, they make a real person. Separated, one's a nut and the other's a robot.

What do you think?

Julia's pouting, but she says she's okay and promises she's not going to go all psycho killer on Mariana and chase her around the apartment with a butter knife.

Uy....careful Mariana. I'm sure that's what a psycho killer would say.

Furthermore, Mariana tells Julia to promise her she's not going to poison Dani's food. Julia says she can't promise that...she always wanted to play the evil witch from Snow White.

Hey, here's a thought, Mariana: make Armando the food taster. All of Julia's confusions would be solved then.

In the end, Julia promises she will behave and be a good host. She also promises to not be a jealous freak and that she'll suppress her desires to murder Mariana's ex.

I'm not so sure we should believe her, Mariana.

Mari is with me since she wants it writing, just in case something happens and the cops need evidence.


You can be mega cool sometimes, girl.

Julia says she's just going to have to trust her.

Armando walks in and, wanting to tease Mariana, asks if Dani the ex is coming.

Mariana is not amused.

Thankfully, Bruno arrives before things can get too awkward. He wants to talk to Julia about Ileana, who is having a mega crisis and he doesn't know what to do anymore.


Don't be fooled by the glasses she wears sometimes, she's not really smart, my dear hippie.

They talk about Ileana, who is going through a crazy streak every since Leo and Alma broke up. Julia tells him that Ileana has always been a very complex person who is prone to go from one extreme to another, and that it all goes back to her father's death.

Bruno: I'm sorry to say this, and I'm sure there isn't a good way to say this, but, you lost your dad too, right? Mercedes and Alma too. And you guys aren't like that.
Like what? Crazy? It's so obvious that you don't know us, eh?

What is this? More clarity and self awareness coming from Julia? The world may be ending soon. I'm scared.

They talk about Ileana some more, and Julia's sanity during it all surprises me.

I wonder if she's had sex recently, which lifted the fog from her brain and the crazy hasn't returned yet. I need an explanation for this.

And tonight I leave with you....

... Meche telling Claudio she loves him and won't marry him because she's afraid he'll die too! Because these two are cute together, despite the fact that he needs to get a full body waxing session ASAP.


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