What's up, guys?
I fear I'm being as redundant as the show itself by saying this again...but I'm bored! They're reminding me why I always prefer fantasy shows over dramas. Fantasy shows are much more fun because all these cool and exciting things that could never happen in your life, happen. Dramas tend to be much closer to real life, and, in this particular case, they want to make it so close to real life that lately it has been as boring as real life.
I may need to burst out my Xena DVDs to cancel this out.
At least the blog has another new follower! Hi new follower! For a grand total of...two.
Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Day.
It's interesting how the scenery might change, yet not change at all. The terrible three are hanging out in Armando's back yard. Like they always are...they eat together, sleep together, fuck together and I don't think it would be out of the realm of possibility that they bathe together.
Don't you get sick of each other, gueys?
Apparently, everyone in the Aparicio Universe had a weird dream the night before, not just Alma. Mariana dreamed the three of them were playing hide and seek. She was running to hide and she fell down. Hernan, dressed in guerrilla attire, helped her up or something.
No, wait, she didn't. She was just joking, so I just wrote that for no reason.
The thing is that she's worried because she hasn't heard from Hernan. Armando tells her not to worry, he probably doesn't have anywhere to send an email from.
Mariana agrees and goes on to ponder the meaninglessness of their lives.
What are you talking about? Your lives have a purpose: to drive me crazy.
Julia apparently did have a dream (I think), something about them hanging out checking out their bellybuttons.
Armando gets in touch with the gay within to check out his bellybutton.
I feel stupider for writing that just now.
Mariana speculates that maybe the dream means something. Maybe the world is trying to tell them to make their lives more meaningful. Armando, according to her, spends his days playing with little kids, while Juliana are just into catering and acting. Maybe, Mariana says, they should be doing something more important.
Julia agrees, but doesn't know what they can do.
Well, if your days are spent like this, then I agree. Your lives suck. However, I dread whatever it is you're going to come up with. I just know it's going to be all boring and PSA like.
Mariana gets a message on her computer. It's from Gaby. The uncomfortable one, remember?
Emo is horrified: Gaby married a guy, rather than face coming out, and now she's miserable.
Well, that was fast, Miss uncomfortable. And it really does suck for you, so, sorry.
Aparicio Central. Day.
Juliando (Julia+Mariana+Armando) are hanging out with Bruno and Ileana. I'm guessing finally having an orgasm has made Ileana more mellow since she seems no longer horrified by the trio.
Mariana, however, IS horrified, but at the Gaby situation. She's still talking about it. She reminds us (as if we need it) how very, very gay Gaby was and how conservative (meaning 'homophobic') her family was. Now she's living a double life with some guy and is mega miserable.
Why the hell did she marry him then? I understand not coming out, but marrying some dude? WTF?
Our PSA begins and Bruno says it's sucks to live in a society where people can't be themselves. Everyone agrees, minus Ileana who is fine with it.
I'd call her a bitch, but I must hold on to whatever glimmer of conflict I see.
Julia tells Mariana, jokingly, that she better not get the urge to run over to save Gaby and bring her back to the world of lesbianism.
Poor Armando stands in the sidelines, as he often does lately. They've been, subtly, edging him out, which means the tide is turning towards Juliana, just very slooooowwwwllly. Like, you barely notice and have to squint your eyes to see it.
Alma walks in and laughs at everyone because of the dream she had. Everyone proceeds to tell her the Gaby gossip.
Huh. I'm thinking Mariana is not the one to tell a big secret to.
Later that day, the gang, plus Rafaela and Nana, are having lunch.
They're discussing the Gaby situation, which means even more people know this poor girl's business.
And the PSA continues. Rafaela says she doesn't understand how some people can live a lie just out of fear, Alma says sometimes that's the only way they can survive, bla, bla, bla.
Meche arrives and takes the attention away from The Unfortunate One and puts in on Alma, who has big news: she's moving in with Leo.
Most are happy with the news and everyone talks and jokes and hang out happily. Cool family, I want them to adopt me, I say, for the millionth time.
Rafaela is the only one who isn't happy since she seems to hate it when daughters leave the nest and she doesn't trust Leo.
Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Night.
Juliana is alone at the apartment..wait, I thought it was physically impossible to not be with Armando. Why are you confusing me?
Mariana is happy because she got a telegram-like email from Hernan telling her he's fine. Julia asks her if she answered Gaby's email.
Noooo, are you jealous Julia? No way! You're incapable of such things!
Emo hasn't answered because she doesn't know what she can tell her.
So, you're just going to leave her hanging? That's mean. She's not Hernan, you can't be mean to her.
Julia tells Mari she should tell Gaby to get a divorce and face her father. Or get a one way ticket to San Francisco.
Or stay married and have lots of children because Mariana is already taken by her (Julia).
Gasp! Are you jealous?!! Julia Aparicio, jealous?!!!! Impossible!
Mari lets the comment go and points out that Gaby will never be a 'pato' (duck). This terms goes back to a conversation Mariana had with Ileana once when Miss Stick in the Mud asked her if things wouldn't be easier if she just made herself straight. Mariana pointed out that it was as impossible for her to become straight as it was for Ileana herself to turn into a duck. She could act and dress like a duck, but would never be a real duck.
Sooo, I'm guessing that the point of the 'pato' talk is that Gaby may pretend, but she could never become straight. The whole thing is weird for me, though, because over here (PR) 'pato' is a derogatory name when it's used to refer to a gay person. It's like, our equivalent of 'faggot'. I have no clue why, but it is.
Later that night, Julia's online and mentions that she found an interesting blog. I hope it's not this one, they may not like me anymore.
It's some blog about diverse families who have gay children or something.
Don't tell me that these two are going to become gay activists and drive me crazy with all the 'woe is gay, it's so hard, we're so discriminated, but we're just like you, so please love us and accept us' talk.
Las Aparicio, stop trying to educate me. Just be gay and entertain me, for the love of God.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but, thankfully, Armando arrives to put me out of my misery.
He asks the girls if they're on twitter again (TPTB love twitter), but Julia informs him they're being useful: they've been looking for his dad. They haven't found him yet, but they got some clues.
I'm so (not) excited about it, gueys.
Tonight I leave you with....
....Meche! No need to explain why!
Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Day.
Armando is on the phone.
His ever (non)exciting quest to find his father continues. He's talking to his 'favorite' uncle to try to get in touch with his dad. And I say 'favorite' since apparently Armando hadn't talked to him in years either. It seems that when he walked out on his dad, he walked out on that whole side of his family.
Um, not cool, guey.
His uncle agrees with me on that and almost laughs in his face (ear?). His first reaction is that Armando wants money, and when he says that's not it, the uncle hangs up on him and tells him he'll call him back because he (uncle) is busy at the moment.
I'm thinking he won't because no one exchanged phone numbers. For your sake, Assmando, let's hope he has caller ID.
Hurt, Armando goes over to discuss it with this women.
Uh, oh. There's the ugly head thing again. I tremble when Julia puts it on, it means she'll do something stupid soon.
The girls lament their man's pain, but at the same time the three consider the uncle's reaction understandable, they would think the same way if a long lost family member contacted them out of the blue.
Really? I'd be uncomfortable, but curious.
Armando thanks them for their support and says he's not going to give up.
Yay. I'm so (not) looking forward to another teary eyed reunion between child and long lost parent. Let's hope the guey's not(is) dead.
Random Park. Day.
The girls are taking a stroll in the park. Julia is nervous, she's worried that people will become upset about them asking them questions and putting a camera in their face.
Uh, oh. What are you up to?
Mariana assures that is the contrary: most people open up with a camera in their face.
I must take a second to point out how pretty the park is.
I kinda want to be there right now.
Anyway, apparently, the topic of this random interview they've just pulled out their ass is gay people.
I'm so shocked. All these shocking surprises and plot twists will prove hazardous to my health.
The first question will be if they know a gay person. Julia says if they don't, then they're screwed because the interview would be over. Mariana says if they don't know any gay person, then they must be aliens.
I'll take your word for it since it takes one to one.
They continue planning the interview. They'll ask people how is their relationship with the gay person, etc, etc, etc.
Mariana says if the person turns out to be a lesbian and hot, then they'd ask for her phone number.
When Julia scolds her about it (jokingly) Mariana says the number would be for a single friend they may have.
You're totally lying there, you have no other friends.
Julia is apprehensive about the idea that someone might get violent on them and wishes they had brought Armando along. Mariana wisely points out that he wouldn't have been much help.
In fact, Julia should be the protector in this relationship since, not only does she have her own ovaries, but Mariana's and Armando's balls as well. She's had them for a while, it's time she learns to use them.
Mariana calms her down and reminds her that, thankfully, not everyone is like Rodo, the gay basher.
Awww, I miss those days when there was conflict.
They stop some girl and commence their interview.
That's your camera, gueys? Talk about low budget/low tech. Is the video gonna look good enough to put it on youtube at least?
I'm actually surprised people would stop and talk to a complete stranger and let themselves be videotaped. They don't know what they will use the footage for.
I don't even think the girls know what they will use the footage for.
They don't only get nice people, tough. Some lady apparently tells them that they're going to hell or something and that she (lady) doesn't know anyone who is gay. Julia is, as she always is, the embodiment of maturity and screams at her that she's the one who is going to hell and she should go to church if she wants to preach.
Don't waste your breath on it, guey.
Mariana agrees with me (wow, it's been a while since that's happened) and calms Julia down. She points out, wisely, that the lady is just in denial since it's impossible that she doesn't know anyone who is gay.
As the day progresses, the girls continue their stroll in the park. I choose to focus more on how pretty the scenery is because they're starting to get all PSA on me again and I'm getting annoyed.
Julia and Mariana are discussing the downfall of Emo's relationship with her mother. Julia can't believe the mother chose her husband's side rather than give Mariana some support. Emo points out her mother doesn't know how to be single and couldn't face losing her husband.
That sucks, Emo. But don't worry, your adoptive family is much cooler anyway.
Julia continues to be outraged about it and I wonder why they're talking about it as if it happened yesterday and not god knows how many years ago.
They're teaching us how horrible parental rejection can be for a gay person.
Thank you so much Las Aparicio, there's no way I could've figured that out without you!
Thank you, furthermore, for reminding me time and time again how hard is to be gay. I love getting up in the morning and reminding myself that a portion of the world hates me. It's so empowering and fills me with such joy.
For the love of God, stop it. Just be gay and entertain me, it's what I watch TV for.
Anyway, Miss Julia thinks EmoMom was just a coward who should've stuck with Mariana and shown her husband that the essence of who Mariana was didn't change just because she was gay.
I do give Juliana props, however, for walking along the park while openly holding each other and kissing.
Now, THAT's empowering to me. Take note, Powers That Be.
Thankfully, they move away from the depressing talk. Julia takes the camera and turns it on Mariana.
Julia: So, tell us miss, please. Do you know anyone who is straight?
Mariana: Straight? Ay, no. How horrible. Well, yes. My mom.
Julia: Tell us about your relationship with that person, then.
Mariana: Well, let's just say that I've learned to be tolerant, you know?
Now, that was cool. See? That was empowering too. There's no need for the over top dramatic BS. I truly believe tormented gay people will feel better if they see other happy gay people just being themselves. It bugs me when we get portrayed as victims just for the sake of earning straight people's pity and showing them how wrong they are by hating us.
They can just go fuck themselves if they don't like us, I say.
Alma's Atelier. Day.
The girls arrive looking for Alma. When she finally receives them, the three start discussing their nice day in the park.
The PSA starts again.
Why do you treat me this way, gueys?
I'm sorry, but I'll have to keep this short.
The girls talk about the interviews: there was some 40 something dude who still struggled with being gay, some other guy who talked about the gay person he knew and had a hard time accepting and then the person turned out to be himself, there was also some girl whose best friend killed himself over being gay, etc, etc, etc.
I feel like I must take a second to explain why this whole PSA thing bothers me.
Don't get me wrong, homophobia and its effects are serious business, specially because all the things they just said have happened in real life. I just prefer to focus on the positive side of being gay and feel that to show gay people constantly like poor victims who have such a horrible life is very unfair and not empowering.
Besides, they already tackled this with Rodo and the Uncomfortable One (Gaby), why go there again?
Also, the primary focus of a story should be, at all times, to entertain, not preach.
I know their intentions are good, but I wish they'd stop it.
Back to recapping.
Alma offers to give them some space in the Atelier so they can teach some class about it, or something.
I don't care.
I must point out, though, that the idea of Julia teaching anyone anything is just terrifying.
Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Night.
Juliana is all excited over their upcoming class. They're looking over their footage and trying to come up with a cool name for it.
Okay, is it possible that that little video camera shot video that looks that good in full screen? I don't buy it. And weren't they at the park?
Julia suggests calling it 'Mom, Dad: I will never be a duck (pato)'. Mariana loves it.
I don't like it. Remember what I said about that term before.
Armando saves me from my misery again. He arrives home all excited because the kids-he-trains-yet-we-will-never-see-because-there's-not-enough-budget-for-that,-sorta-like-the-imaginary-friends-they-mention-but-we-don't-see-on-screen-ever won the game, championship or whatever.
Damn, that was a mouthful, eh?
He brought the trophy home. How come? Do coaches always do that?
The girls congratulate their husband and he seems really proud. I'm somewhat happy for him. They're going to get some beer to celebrate when the phone rings.
Mariana answers. It's Armando's uncle, returning his call.
I am so (not) excited. The suspense is (not) killing me.
Tonight I leave you with............
....Meche at a strip club! Because I soooo wanted her to get a lap dance!