Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Las Aparicio Recaps ep 93-94


What's up, guys?

Sorry for the delay, but my internet access has been sucking lately.

I want to thank you all for the nice comments saying I'm a good writer and should write my own lesbian screenplay, etc. You make me blush.

Thank you, seriously.

Let's get to it.

Episode 93

Alma's Atelier. Day.

Even though, thankfully, the professors have no class today, they decided to drop by to have coffee with Ileana. For those of you who don't know, Ileana has pretty much lost her mind since her mother broke up with Leo. She's crying all the time, being a bitch to everyone and basically having a serious case of the crazy.

It makes me think that maybe Julia's problem is genetic.

Ileana says that she's not interested: she has too much work to do. Julia tries to convince her by telling her that they know that she's got a mess in her head and that maybe talking to them, who are her friends, might help.

Ileana: You're not my friend, you're my aunt. And she's your girlfriend.

So? What's the problem with that?

Saint Mariana goes on to say that they know that what she (Ileana) is going through is very intense and they want to offer her a few friendly ears.

What exactly is Ileana going through?

I'm guessing they want to say that the Alma/Leo thing it brought up unresolved feelings about her dad or something.
Ileana is not interested and Julia, who is wearing glasses and is therefore in professor/therapist mode, presses the issue. She tells Ileana that she understands that the whole situation stirred up feelings about her dad.

Miss Stick in the Mud is clearly stuck on 'bitch mode', so she continues to decline their help and gets mad when she realizes that Bruno talked to them.

At first, the girls deny that he talked to them, but eventually they try to convince Ileana that, even if he did talk to them, he was just worried and wanted to help. They want to help too.

The Biatch tells them that they can help her by leaving her alone.

Hovering in the background, we see Armando and Dani talking.
There's that shirt again. Ok, list of things the costume department needs to throw away already:

1. Armando's long sleeved purple shirt.
2. Mariana's boots, no matter how cute they are.
3. Every single head band Julia and Mariana have.
4. Every single scarf everyone has: if they I have a hickey to hide, I would rather see it.

Armando calls over to the girls to show them who he ran into, and as we get a close up of Dani we see that she too is wearing an ugly scarf.

What is this? Are scarves a new secret code bisexual women wear to single each other out?

I get a kick out of the creepy ominous music they always put in the background now when Dani's on screen.

LOL.

Later that day, the quartet are having coffee.
I must say, I prefer Dani 1.0, the one who was into self help books and yoga, better than this one, Dani 2.0. You'll see what I mean as we go along.

The scene opens up with Dani 2.0 saying that she has a confession to make: she too had a polyamorous relationship once.

Mariana almost chokes on her coffee and Julia seems very curious to know more about it. Apparently Dani, well, I'll just let her tell you.

Dani: Yes. An intense, passionate affair on a virgin beach in Quintana Rocks, during two weeks with a French man and an Italian woman.

Gueeeyyyyy. Are you making this up?

Julia is all 'wow' of course, and suggests that maybe Dani should talk about it in their next class.

Someone should really tip those students off and let them know that they're being taught stuff by a bunch of people who have no training at all. If I was one of them, I'd want my money back.

Dani doesn't want to do it, primarily because what the McTrio have is love, and what she had was " pure, hard, animalistic, primitive sex".

Gueeeyyyyy. Are you making this up?

Mariana keeps looking at Dani all confused, she doesn't know that this one is 2.0 and not 1.0.

I liked 1.0 better too, 2.0 is kinda slutty.

Emo wants her to spill the beans, but Dani doesn't want to, not in the light of day and sober. Armando takes the cue and invites her to dinner.

Julia tries to keep her promise to be a good host and asks Dani what she wants for dinner since she was a vegetarian, no?

Dani: I WAS. I was a vegetarian.
Julia: Oh, so not anymore?
Dani: No. During this trip I learned to let go of a lot of things I held onto, for better or worse. I feel freer.
Besides, the truth is that I've always liked meat. I don't know how I denied myself the pleasure for so long.

So, you like penis now, thank you so much for letting me know. But if you ever make the connection between penis and meat again, you too will be off my Christmas list. Don't put images in my head, I don't want to think about penises when I'm having some chicken for dinner.

For the record, it's obvious that's what the whole exchange was about since Dani and Mariana exchanged a lot of weird looks during the meat talk. In case you don't remember, Dani went gay for Mariana, she was her first woman. And, she's also been looking at Armando all predatory.

Who the hell are this people? Doesn't anyone believe in monogamy anymore?

Dani excuses herself and Julia rolls her eyes when she walks away.
I'm with you on this one, Jules.

Julia also makes fun of the meat comment by repeating it using her Dani voice. Mariana reprimands her and her mistress points out that Dani was looking at Mariana. Emo tells her to not get all intense again.

Mario (Armando) must have had an easy time with the latest scenes, because he's had, basically, zero lines.

Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Night.

The trio are preparing for Dani's arrival. Julia is in the kitchen working on the food while the compadres are setting the table. Total team effort, like everything is between them these days.

When Dani arrives, Julia rolls her eyes again.
Even though I fear sounding redundant, I must say it: Julia is sooo 14 years old.

Armando and Mariana are gracious hosts and Dani is gracious too: she brought wine and comments on how cool the house is. She says hi to Julia, but then things get awkward when MEC, after kissing her on the cheek and saying hi, starts running around the kitchen like a crazy person and basically ignores Dani.

Mariana pulls Dani away to the living room and Julia rolls her eyes again.

13, maybe?

Later that night, as the quartet have dinner, Dani continues with her polysex story. Since I'm not sure I buy it, I'll skip through it. It sounds like some cheap romance novel.

She had orgies or whatever, I don't know.
Who is this person?

Mariana and Armando are enthralled by the story and keep asking her questions, while Julia keeps rolling her eyes and I can't believe I'm with Julia again.

Armando is very attentive of Dani and offers her more wine. Mariana takes Dani's hand and tells her she's glad to see her okay. It's really funny to see Julia's eyes moving from one direction to the other, she's jealous of Armando/Dani, now she's jealous of Mariana/Dani and back and forth.

Her head will probably explode soon and we shall find out once and for all if there was anything inside.

Later on, Dani is curious about their polyrelationship. She is still so impressed and admires their relationship so much and now I'm rolling MY eyes. She says that she understands group sex when there are no feelings involved, but what they have must be much harder because there are feelings involved.

Julia, who has been way too passive during the whole thing, finally says that no, it's not hard. And when Dani asks if she can ask them a question, she says no, again. Of course, Julia says she's joking, but the hate is in the air. She's been behaving so far, which is more that I usually expect from her.

Dani wants to know if there is anything between Mariana and Armando. I'm thinking she's having all sorts of three way scenarios in her head, since she's a meat lover/polysexy person now.

Mariana says that, come on, Dani knows her diet is 100% women.

Thankfully, guey. All of this fluid sexuality is making my head hurt.

Since the people-who-stole-her-clothes-while-she-was-skinny-dipping-and-doing-naughty-things-under-the-water-in-some-virgin-beach-somewhere must have stolen her prudence too, Dani keeps pressing and asks Armando if HE ever wanted Mariana, who is a beautiful girl.

Julia gives her the evil eye, Mariana opens her eyes wide knowing the jealousy fit she will have to endure because of that and Armando says that he and Mariana are just compadres, buddies.

The ominous music is still in the background and I'm still amused by it.

I gotta say, Dani loves being the center of attention, she just doesn't shut up. She turns to Armando and tells him that she has always admired him for his soccer: she's a fan! I even think there's some flirting going on there.
I'm thinking Julia will turn into Hulk soon.

Julk (Julia+Hulk) takes control of the conversation and kinda makes fun of Dani by pointing out that she likes meat, soccer and yoga. Dani says that sometimes she likes doing them all at the same time or whatever.

Mariana drinks all her wine in one gulp, the whole thing is so uncomfortable.

Even later that night, Mariana and Julia go the kitchen for some reason. Mariana kicks Julia in the ass to get her attention. I must post a screengrab of it since any ass kicking Julia gets is orgasmic to me.
Mari points out that Dani has gotten very...loose.

Suelta como gabete, guey.

Julia: Dani, loose? I think someone else is loose. I mean, because I see that Dani doesn't stop flirting with Armando and flirting with you and from what I see, you love it. I don't know who's worse.
I knew it! I knew Julia had to go crazy before the night was over.

Mariana tries to calm her down by saying she was just pointing out something about the behavior of a friend she hadn't seen in a long time, that the problem is that the crazy/jealous Julia is coming out again.

The mini discussion continues for a bit more and Mariana laughs at the situation since they sound like crazy women who are losing it because someone is trying to steal their man.

Mariana: The madness has to stop, please!

Um, as long as you're with Julia the madness will never stop. Look at this crazy face.
When Julia and Mariana walk into the living room, coffee in hand, Dani says that she wants to go back to the 90s! She has a bottle in her hand and wants to play 'spin the bottle'.

Seriously, who IS this person?

At first the girls don't want to, but eventually give in.

This is SUCH a great idea, gueys, it's SO smart to play spin the bottle when 3/4 of the people involved are in a relationship, with EACH OTHER.

So, smart and productive.

At least it's not that lame ass 'what if' game again.

The four gather around the table and Dani asks who will go first. Julia says that she doesn't want to, the whole thing is so childish, so High School.

But, you're 14, aren't you in High School?

Mariana is on Julia's side, she doesn't want to flash back to her teenage years, which were just uncomfortable. Armando wants to play.

Whoever wants to kiss whoever should just do it and stop this BS. How many possible combinations can there be?

I see a lot of alcohol around, which must explain this little game, as it explains every big decision these people make.

Dani spins the bottle and it falls in Julia. Since MEC's discomfort can be seen from outer space, Dani says she should chill out since it's just a game, and she can spin again if it's too much of a problem.

Julia says that it's okay and goes over and gives Dani a little peck on the lips and says 'there. Who's next?'

Next it's Julia's turn, and the bottle falls on Mariana.

All cool so far.

When Mariana spins the bottle, however, Mariana's nightmare, MY nightmare, comes true: it falls on Armando.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mariana is NOT amused.

Everyone, except Mariana and me, cheers on: they totally want to see this. Needless to say, Armando is quite happy about it.

I might have nightmares for a month after this.
Things get really interesting, however, when Armando spins the bottle and it lands on Dani. They proceed to give each other some form of dental inspection with their tongues.
Even Julia and Mariana are taken back by this.
They shouldn't be so surprised, Armando was always a ho and Dani 2.0 comes across as one as well, so...

After the kiss (which Mariana ends up breaking by yelling at Dani), Mariana and Julia look super uncomfortable while Armando and Dani laugh and overall have a good time.

I don't get their problem. So, I ask them:

Mariana: She's your EX, why do you care about who she lets put their tongue down her throat?
Julia: Aren't you a polyamorous bisexual woman? What about free love?

They're so full of shit, gueys.

Today I leave you with....
...... Rafaela 15 years ago! Because that's the dopest wig ever!

Also, as a bonus......

....Hippie Nana! Because I keep wishing everyone in my family was this cool!

Enjoy!

Episode 94

Nana's Voice Over.

Nana is talking about transformation and bla, bla, bla. Julia looks over her sleeping servants, thinking.
Careful, Julia. You might strain your brain.

Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Day.

It's the next day and our terrible three look, well, terrible.

What's this? It's not like you fucked Dani collectively (spoiler: that will come later).

Everyone has trouble looking at the other in the eye and I continue to fail to see the problem. After all the polyamory and the living together and the sharing of Julia (even during sex, I might add)...a game of spin the bottle is what throws you off, gueys? Weren't you so enlightened, even giving classes and all?

Julia: Now what? Wasn't it just a game? Flashback to 1999 or something?
Mariana: Yeah, that's what it was, just a game.
Julia: Then why are we like this?


Yeah, why are you like this? You out of all people should be okay with sexual experimentation, it's not like you're prudes.

Mariana says something that I don't understand. I mean, I understand the words, but not what she means. I have that problem with her sometimes. I hope it's just because I'm writing this at 1:30 AM and not because spending so much time watching Julia is making me dumb too.

Julia isn't wearing her ugly head band today, so she is the voice of reason. She tells them that, back when she was 13 and played spin the bottle, she didn't have this moral dilemma, so maybe they should talk about it.

Don't confuse me, Julia. You're the crazy one, who will I rip on if you go sane on me?

The processing begins.
Mariana apologizes for inviting over Dani for dinner to begin with, specially since the three of them are trying to find equilibrium and D can throw them off. Julia agrees, for her it was very weird to have Dani there and then playing that stupid game was like playing with fire.

Juliaaaa. Stop it. I need you crazy.

The Queen thinks it would be better to not see her again. Mariana doesn't think they need to go that far, they just can't see her in circumstances like that.

They keep discussing it. Mariana has a hard time letting Dani go, Julia thinks it would be the best for their relationship and Armando will go for whatever they decide.

In the end, Julia gets her way.

So shocking, I know.

Bisexual Polyville. Day.

The girls went to the house to get a book they needed for their class. Mariana is online reading an email from Hernan, who insists in boring us, even from the distance.

The email, like always, is about very important and current stuff: a massacre in Mexico where 72 people were killed. They make lots of references to Mexico stuff I really can't talk about because I'm unfamiliar with them.

Still, big bummer, that sucks a lot.

Mariana reads the email and it reads like some speech a revolutionary person would read at a rally or something, which is why I say it's boring. I don't like stuff like that.

Meche's Law Firm. Day.

Mariana and Julia pay Meche a visit. They want to talk about gay marriage in their class, so they want Meche to talk to them about the legal stuff.

Al least they do research.

Meche enlightens us about gay marriage, which is legal in Mexico DF. The gist of it is that it works basically the same way as a straight marriage, only that one of the people involved needs to be a legal resident of Mexico DF. Once married in Mexico DF, the marriage is valid in the whole country.

All through this enlightening talk that is only useful to Mexican queers, Mariana and Julia keep sending each other little signals that say that Julia wants to get married and Mariana is completely against marriage in general. But, who are we kidding, really? What Julia wants, Julia gets eventually.

As they leave, Meche teases Mariana that she should get married already, while Emo continues to express panic at the idea. As if you have a say in your life, guey.

Alma's Atelier. Day.

The class happened off screen.

Thank you, Lord.

Dani, who was amongst the students, stays behind when the class clears. She's wearing an ugly scarf again.

Yuck.

The girls, who have amnesia and don't remember that they decided to not be friends with her anymore, go over her to talk.

The topic of the class was marriage. Since Dani knows that Mariana is against it, she teases her that she wants to be the maid of honor when them two get married. Or is it them three?

Julia: Well, besides, that will be kind of hard because the constitution says that TWO people can get married, not three people.
I don't really know what to say to that.

Dani says that maybe they need to keep fighting for more rights, maybe they will get it.

Mariana isn't interested in it anyway, although she respects everyone who is into marriage. Julia doesn't seem too excited that her woman doesn't want to get married EVER and seems annoyed that this is the first time she's heard of this, while Dani seems to be in the loop about it.

Julia: Well, for example, in my case, it's not like it's this dream for me, nor do I see myself with the white dress and the party and the whole thing...
Dani: And the bouquet.
Julia: Ay, imagine that. No, but, I don't get it. I didn't know, since when you have that clear rejection towards marriage?


Mariana says she's felt that way for a long time and that she actually believes that marriage is a devil's act.

Lol.

Mariana: Besides, don't get me wrong, my love, but I don't want to test the curse. I would like to stay alive a little while longer. Just a little bit.

Lol, again.

Hey, maybe Julia should marry Armando, then.
Julia tells Mariana to not fool around, that if she doesn't want to marry her, then she needs to come up with a real excuse and not her family curse. Dani says that, considering the horrible experiences they've had with marriage in their families, it's understandable that they don't believe in it.

Armando walks in and him and Dani keep looking at each other kinda funny.

Later on, the three have to go because they have to go to the theater to see a cool piece called 'Realidades Encontradas', which is a real piece by the way, written or produced or something by Tania Angeles (who plays Dani). I think Tash Ybarra is involved in it too.
So, we not only get PSAs, we get commercials too.

Dani tells them to have fun, but Mariana disobeys her Mistress's command and invites her to come with them.

Armando likes the idea too, so Julia, faced with a revolution in her hands (and I do like this one), grudgingly accepts.

Off to the theater they go.

Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Night.

The foursome are back from the theater. Since there's not enough time or budget for anything that isn't in the Bisexual Polyvilles, we don't get to see the play or their night out.

Dani and Armando are all excited talking about the play, while Mariana and Julia look exhausted (as am I, damn recapping these latest episodes is taking me forever).

Julia points out how tired they are and what a day they've had, but Dani and Armando's batteries are being recharged by their desire to fuck I suppose, since they don't get the hint. Dani wants them to get some drink and continue the debate, Armando seems more than happy to oblige.

Sleppy!Julia is very sleepy. She can barely talk, much less debate. In fact, she says, her brain has been disconnected since the middle of the play.

I'm not sure it was ever connected in the first place, Julia.

It doesn't matter, though. Dani has come and has knocked over the power structures in the royal court, so the servants are no longer listening to the Queen.

Armando brings out the beers and they wonder out loud what they can talk about or what they can play to pass the time.

Mariana whines that she's getting a beer belly.

Considering the copious amounts of alcohol you consume, I think it is a real possibility, so, get your act together, guey.

Dani suggests that they should play strip poker.

Again, who IS this person?
Julia and Mariana seem reluctant at first, but, since Armando and Dani are the Queen and King now, they give in.
Nana's Voice Over.
During the voice over, Nana talks about transformation again and about how, sometimes, 2 can turn into 3, and, maybe, 3 into 4. Then, how to stop?



Maybe they DON'T want to stop, maybe they want to make a polyville for real.

And tonight I leave you with.....

....Ximena! Because her acting when Rafaela said she was responsible for Maximo's death was awesome!

Enjoy!
Comments = love!

14 comments:

  1. JULK! :D
    i loooooove your recaps and your sarcasm :)
    i want to thank you for these great recaps

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  2. Julk!!!! I love it.

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  3. Credit about the Hulk thing goes to Bere! I just came up with the 'Julk' bit.

    :)

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  4. it's great :D
    can't wait for the other recaps
    you really write great

    i'm from germany and my spanish is not that good so this blog is the only solution for me if i want to watch las aparicio

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  5. "When Mariana spins the bottle, however, Mariana's nightmare, MY nightmare, comes true: it falls on Armando. " - best comment ever, I was laughing out loud. Thanks for the recap, this is the only thing keeping me up to date since youtube blocked all the videos.

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  6. U R AMAZING&SO FUNNY,THX FOR THE GREAT GREAT GREAT RECAPS,CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE&LET UR GIRL FRIEND LIVE WITH THAT BUT AM UR NUMBER ONE FAN,CHEERS.

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  7. I agree, Dani 2.0 is kinda' slutty. I was excited for her to comeback since I am pretty sure that Julia would be overly jealous BUT what is she doing flirting with everyone else?! Haaay. Anyway, thanks again for the recaps!

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  8. Again, wonderful recapping....luv it :D
    Thanks for spending your time for this, please take care and have enough sleep...Saint Nat ^0^

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  9. "DANI 2.0" I was laughing out loud :))
    Your recaps are very funny!
    Thank you very much!
    Cris (Italy)

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  10. No need for a video! hehe I love reading your recaps, they're so funny! Thanks!!!! I think mariana should just get another gf, she's really hot.

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  11. anyone know where I can watch these episodes?

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  12. Hey, nice recaps. Just wanted to comment on when you wrote that Dani was with a man and a woman which I think is not what she said. She mentions their names later when they are eating: "Julia (or Julie), Sophia and me.", both of which are girls' names. So I think she had a threesome with two women. ;)

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  13. Hello Anon

    :) Well, I checked, and we're both right. ;) First she says she had a polyamorous relationship with "un francés y una italiana", which does mean a french man and an italian woman ("un" is male, "una" is female). But then later she does say what you say.

    Maybe she had a polyamorous relationship with a man and a woman, and a threesome with two women. :P You know, Dani 2.0 and all. lol

    I'm glad you enjoy the recaps.

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