Friday, August 13, 2010

Las Aparicio Recaps ep 82-83

What's up guys?

Sorry I've been absent lately.

It's just that this storyline has gotten...uninspiring. There's no conflict, there's no dramatic tension or expectation of anything happening, they're just... there. You know what conflict is? When the characters want something intensely yet there are obstacles in the way. What the hell is it that these people want? What are the obstacles? I don't know anymore. Also, the audience must feel empathy for them in their quest. I don't anymore. So, you know when you're laying on your bed just staring at a spot on the ceiling while talking on the phone? That's sort of how I watch them now, and I've lost hope that it will get much better before the end.

Such a pity. I used to really love this show.

I've also been having a lot of trouble sleeping this week, which means that I've been spending my days kinda tired. I wish I could say I've been up doing doing fun, naughty things, but no. I've just been restless. Sleepy brains don't make cool recaps, which is another reason why I haven't been updating.

Episode 82

A lot of people found this episode moving and whatnot. I...didn't. It was too much Hernan-centric, and, as I've said 3 gazillion times, I find him boring and can't seem to relate to his story with Mariana, at all. The acting was top notch, though, so, kudos for that.

Having said that, let's get to it.

Some Park. Night.

Bad things are happening.

In case you've forgotten, Hernan has just told Mariana that the real reason why he's leaving is because he's dying. To say she's not taking it well it's an understatement.

You just know that Hernan really is Mariana's dad because he's the only one who can inspire real anger in her. I'm the same with my Pa.

Anyway, Julia can walk all over her, can ask her to run around naked in the middle of traffic signing Mariah Carey songs to prove her love or demand her to bear Armando's child....and Mariana will do it in a heartbeat for the sake of their 'love'.

But Hernan? You know, the man who gave her life and all? He gets no mercy.

He just sits there and lets her walk all over him. She asks him why he came back and made her love him if things were this way, that she hates him (yes, HATE), that she wishes she had never met him, and that he's still shit (yes, shit).

I don't like Meanriana (Mean+Mariana).

The poor guy's dying and he didn't even get to do Meche, give him a break. Those things you think, but don't say, guey. Don't get me wrong, Hernan has been a jerk to her, and I do agree it was very selfish of him to come back, make her love him to just leave again, dying no less.

But, still, too mean.

When he tries to talk, she shuts him up by saying he can just go die already, that he's selfish and his fatherly love always came with an expiration date.

Utopio tells her he just needed to meet his daughter before he died and that he doesn't regret it. And that everything he ever worked for while he was away he did it, not just thinking of her, but to make the world better for her.

Um, that's not good enough guey, you're still a shitty dad.

Later that night, the Hernan beating continues.

They're all broken and crying and Utopio continues to make up excuses for his absence while Mariana continues to be mean and rub it in his face how much his abandonment hurt her. She's no longer spouting venom but the words are still strong. She tells him she had actually already let him go and forgave him before he came back, implying that he just opened her wounds again.

She wishes he could just let her love him and help him through the end, but that instead he wants to run away again. He can just go die alone and in martyrdom then.

Emo walks away.

Oh thank God, what a long scene.

I don't get Utopio's logic. Why tell her? Now, instead of thinking he's away doing his hippie stuff, she's just going to be thinking of him dying. I guess, in his own way, he's as mean as she just was.

Aparicio Central. Night.

Rafaela and Meche are hanging out discussing Hernan's will when Glasses!Julia walks in. Since Mariana's out with Utopio and she doesn't want to hang out with Armando by herself, she decided to drop by.

Has Servant A displeased you in any way, your Highness? Why don't you want to hang out with him? Don't tell me you're still jealous. He cannot possibly do anything with Mariana because you cut off his balls a long time ago and locked them away in the same hidden place where you put Emo's ovaries.

Huh. Am I being too mean? I just don't get why those two are so passive when it comes to Julia, I must come up with explanations.

They're all happy to see her and Meche continues to mess with me head by being overtly touchy with Julia.

Eventually Alma arrives too and we have one of those sisters moments we love so much.

The scene is very much Alma centric and about her issues with Leo (zzzz), more specifically, her fears of commitment.

We don't care about that.

Meche and Julia are super supportive, like everyone is in this family (except Ileana). They obviously want to make us all feel bad about our own fucked up families.

Julia offers Alma words of enlightenment.

Professor Julia: If you don't open up, then you can't love. And if you can't love, then you miss out on the unbelievable opportunity to explore how much a person can do, change and feel for someone else. But when you finally do it. When you let your little body go and you can give yourself, I feel like you go on a journey... life's real life journey.


Is that what love is like for you? That sounds awful, all the changing and doing stuff for someone else. No wonder you treat the schmucks like you do, because from what we've seen you're NOT the one who does all the doing and changing for someone.

Don't let the glasses fool you, Alma! She's crazy and not smart.

Eventually, Julia tells them she has to go home because she's got people waiting for her to take care of them.

I know, Julia. I must say, though, that the thought of anyone needing you to take care of them is terrifying. Besides, what are you talking about? They take care of YOU. Even during sexy time, I'm sure.

Bisexual Polyville. Night.

Armando is on the computer when Mariana walks in looking like hell.

Damn, girl.

When he asks her what's wrong, she has to hold back the tears and is barely able to tell him to please bring out the tequila.

Again with the alcohol. Are tequila makers sponsors of this show?

Later that night, Armando and Mariana are drinking in silence when Julia walks in. Emo continues to cry and her Highness for once puts someone else before her and goes over to comfort her.

Awww. There's nothing quite like your girlfriend and her boyfriend to help you through your times of need.

And you know what? Now I think I'm the one who's had a personality transplant since I no longer mind those three together and actually thought, when I first saw this scene, that it would be nice to have all that support.

Joder. What are you doing to me?!!!

The next day, the polyfamily are having breakfast/coffee.

Julia and Mariana must be merging already because Emo is now sporting some ugly thing on her head. Either way, she looks like she might beat someone up before the day is over.

I'm guessing she's still upset over the Hernan situation.

Julia tells her Rafaela called them to invite them over for their Hernan farewell dinner. Emo says she's told him all she needs to, so she doesn't want to go. They can if they want to. Both her girlfriend and her GfBf (girlfriend's boyfriend) tell her they're not going to leave her all alone, so they won't go if she won't. He jokes that if they do, she might leave them tequilaless.

So what? Don't you have a some sort of brewery in the apartment? I was sure you did, you drink so much.

Emo doesn't find it too funny and just walks away.

Later that day, Rafael pays her a visit to knock some sense into her. Patroncita gives her a copy of Hernan's will and challenges her to read that and not be touched enough to go say goodbye to him.

In his will, in case you all don't know, Hernan leaves her some house he has somewhere, plus a bunch of intangible things he really can't leave her, like...well there's a voice over in the end, I'll just put in there. The point is that, more than a simple will, the thing is his goodbye letter to her.

Aparicio Central. Day.

Hernan says goodbye everyone, except Mariana and her kin who ended up not showing.


Things become all Hollywood movie, though, when Hernan is walking out of the house and towards the street to get a taxi.

This van screeches to a halt in the middle of the street and Mariana comes out running, yelling 'Dad!'

They hug and cry and continue to be as poignant and deep as this whole episode has been.

I will NOT say 'yawn'. Oops, I just did. Good acting, though. I just don't care about this storyline, I've said it from the beginning.

Anyway, in a nutshell, they love each other and say goodbye. Mariana couldn't let him go without telling him that and begging him, one last time, to stay. She even offers to take care of him. He tells her he can now die happy after hearing her say that, but he can't ask that of her. Utopio wants her to have a good memory of him.

Before leaving, he tells the girls that he loves them and to have a good life.

As he gets into his taxi and Mariana stands there crying, we hear him read his will to Mariana in the voice over.

Hernan: I leave my daughter the pleasure of taking a stroll on a rainy afternoon, the smell of my grandfather's pipe, the ocean breeze at the seaport, Che Guevara's letter to his children and the absolute faith that there are ways towards a fairer world. To her, I must thank her for the emotion I felt the first time I held her and that knot in my throat thanks to the absolute happiness of hearing her call me, that first time and then 20 years later, 'dad'. Finally, I want to leave her the pride of bearing the name 'desadaptado' and the certainty that her father, always, in every moment and in every situation, thought of her.

Okay, so that was sappy but I felt a little something.

Goodbye Hernan, you were really boring, but you were a good guy. I hope you don't die.

So tonight I leave you with....

....Ileana and Alma! Because I'm sure there's nothing like having your first orgasm and running home to tell your mom all about it!

And what the hell is up with those nails, guey?

Episode 83

This episode is very trippy and Alma centric. It has a dream sequence that is very funny and drags on for like a third of the episode. It's okay, just Juliana light. If you get the chance, watch the whole thing. It's entertaining.

Aparicio Central. Night.

Hernan just left and Juliana are paying the family a visit. Mariana thanks Rafaela for giving her Hernan's will since it made her understand many things. She finally realizes that she needs to respect Hernan's freedom to choose how to live and how to die.

Emo says she's made her peace with him and herself, and that she's ready to stop holding on to the past.

Awesome, I'm so happy for you and your happiness and light in all things. Can we move on, already? Pretty, please?

She doesn't stop and goes own about how meeting him helped her understand herself and her past, bla,bla, bla. The Aparicio love her and they're her family, etc, etc.

Sooo... NOW we're done? God, I hope.

Bisexual Polyville, part deux. Night.

What's up with the bags? You're moving to Armando's apartment now?

Apparently, they are. Emo doesn't want to be home with all the Hernan memories, so she thanks Armando for letting them switch places. So, he was paying for two mortgages? That's kinda stupid.

Armando swears not to leave the toilet seat up again. Yes, God forbid we have a repeat toilet seat incident. Emo is emo because of her dad, she might fall in, not have enough strength to fight and just drown in the toilet.

What other names do I have for Armando? I'm tired of writing Armando, and 'Assmando, Herpes, Assmanho and Cuca' don't seem to apply anymore since he doesn't bother me as much.

Anyway, the penis of the family says that seeing everything that happened with Mariana and Hernan made him want to find his father and try to fix their relationship.

WHAT?!!! More fucking daddy drama?!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sometimes I think the show should be called 'The Redundants: It's all happened before and it will happen again. Over and Over'

They girls are all, 'yay! really?' what happened?' I'm not that excited.

Apparently he went to his dad's last known address, but it turned out he moved. More specifically, he just walked out of his house and never came back. Now, Mando has to find him. Waiting for his dad to show, he remembered all the good times with him, and the bad ones. Apparently his dad got mega depressed and lost all will to live or something. Such a great son you were leaving him, then, guey. But Assmando felt he had to let him go a gazillion years ago, so he (Mando) could live his life.

Or something. I don't care a whole lot. Do you?

The girls applaud his bravery for choosing life over his father. They promise to help him find Assmando Sr.

Yay. I'm so super excited, you guys.

Alma's Dream. Night.

Alma's dream is very amusing. Everything and everyone is turned upside down. Alma is the housewife married to Maximo, who cheats on her with Mara (Leo's assistant), who is married to Leo, who is openly Maximo's son. Meche is the one who has the Atelier and the manwhores. Rafaela's dead, Julia's married to Armando and expecting male triplets. Mariana is very prissy and is dating a very dark/emoish Ileana.

Got all that?

And it's all, supposedly, because Maximo never died.

Let us commence the Juliana parts of the dream sequence.

Aparicio Central. Day.

Alma and Maximo are hanging out in the living room when Julia and Armando walk in. His hair actually looks decent and he's wearing a suit. Julia seems all happy to be with him, smiling and arms linked and all.

Oh, and Julia is like, 25 months pregnant.

She's also wearing the worst fake belly, EVER. I get the urge to punch it to see if it's a pillow.

Alma: What's with you? What did you eat?

A pillow?

Julia: Nothing! What do you mean? (Rubbing her belly) Pure love and married bliss.

I really don't know what to say to that. I'd say only in a dream would we hear something like that come out of her lips, but the truth is that she'd totally say something like that.

It turns out they're expecting triplets, as I said. And that they're all boys who are going to be called 'Hugo', 'Paco' and 'what'? I didn't catch the last one, but I'm guessing there's some reference lost to me here.

Later that day, Alma is awakened from her nap by Ileana. There's a whole lot of 'a dream inside a dream' in this dream.

Miss Stick in the Mud isn't so square in this freaky alternative universe.

Besides looking like THAT, she actually walked in smoking a cigarette and chewing gum so loudly she might wake Rafaela's ghost.

I think I like her better square.

She's looking for her dad. When Alma tells her he's not home Ileana tells 'Marianita', 'little one', to come on over.

Yes, the two are dating. And Mariana is a very prissy, girly girl.

It's the stuff of nightmares.

Proving my theory that every mother wants a Mariana for her kid, Alma is delighted by the news.

In fact, she she even says she's enjoying the moment and hopes she can remember it when she wakes up.

I sooo want the Aparicios to adopt me, I've said it before.

It turns out Maximo kicked Ileana out because she was dating Mariana, and now she's come to ask Alma for money to pay the rent in her new place.

Alma gives it to her, and the pair leave. On their way out, Mariana mentions that they're going to see her(Mariana) dad. When Alma tells Mariana to say hi to Hernan for her, Mariana says her dad is called Frank (that's her stepdad, btw).

Sooo, no daddy issues in this reality? Just for that I think I prefer this one over the other.

Don't wake up, Alma!

Unfortunately, she does.

And tonight I leave you with......

.....Alma's whole freaky dream! Just watch the damn thing, you'll thank me for it.

I particularly love Alma and Meche's role reversals, Ximena gets it perfectly, right down to the gestures!



  1. Yeah, Alma's dream was very entertaining, even though I don't speak spanish!! Well, a little, but it's still great!

  2. I loved Alma's dream !! no poliamor jajaja y mariana e ileana

  3. Alma's dream is the bom.It's like a flickering light of entertainment in the darkness of indifference that has become this series. I actually like Marianna all femmed up(I have a thing for femmes).It would have been even better if they put her in dress like the blue one she wore for the audition. god she was smoking in that dress. Plus in the dream scene they finally got her a bra to really support those puppies and that show them off better.