What's up guys?
Aparicio Central. Day.
The gang are having some pie. Or cheesecake. Either way, I want some.
Ileana is on bitch mode today because, you know, gay (ish) aunt and all, so she decides to tell Utopio about Mariana's gay bashing the week before.
Julia and I do not approve.
It's obvious Miss Stick in the Mud (MSITM), who IS NOT intolerant in any way (Ha! I want some of what she's smoking) is fishing around for supporters to her side against all things gay. But remember, Hernan really can't afford to contradict Mariana in any way, so, he's supportive and wants to see someone on jail for such atrocity.
Mariana is uncomfortable and desperately changes the subject to the infomercial they did for the whatever weightloss product. They start joking around, making fun of the producer who apparently was an ugly fat dude who ate all the catering.
Ileana gives them the evil eye until she can no longer stand it and leaves in a huff.
And you know what? I'm kinda giving them the evil eye too, cause for people who preach and preach about tolerance and acceptance, that was pretty insulting to obese people. Not to mention uncalled for.
I gotta go wash my mouth cause that left a bad taste in it.
Mariana's Loft. Night.
I gotta say, I really do worry for Mariana's safety. Her two locks and gate continue to be open 24/7, as well as her windows. Some rapist can come up and rape/murder you, my love.
She's on her phone twittering or something when Assmando arrives, drunk, screaming for Julia. He's stumbling, slurring and fumbling with her sliding doors trying to get in.
Instead of calling the police like any other person would do, she lets him in so he can see for himself that Julia's not there. Which means that she's actually letting this guey come into her home and tell her she stole his woman and has been trying to 'turn' her gay for years.
You're starting to lose cool points because of how you deal with this guy, specially as time goes by.
Let Angriana out! Let her out!
When he tells her to enjoy it while it lasts because soon Julia will come back to him, some of her sassyness returns and she tells him she and Julia are in love, he lost and he should get lost.
God, yes. If only it were that easy. But he's a cockroach, you'll even say so yourself.
Armando continues blabling, and in his rage knocks out one of Mariana's plants and hurts his arm in the process. Great move, guey. I wish you had tried that with your head instead, but dreams don't come true so easily.
I wish I could rejoice in his pain, but you just know it's gonna buy him some Julia sympathy.
Armando's Cave. Day.
Now I wanna hit a plant.
Mariana actually spent the night in the hospital with Armando because of his arm injury.
Yes, with Armando.
Her girlfriend's ex boyfriend, who has pretty much said he's gonna fight to get her back. The jerk who, on top of it all, is giving her attitude and telling her to leave him the fuck alone instead of saying thanks for taking care of him.
I shall warn you readers, from now on, watching Armando, Julia and Mariana interact will be like watching an episode of The Twilight Zone, it is so incredibly far off of my spectrum of reality.
Julia knocks on the door and Mariana proceeds to leave her GIRLFRIEND alone with the EX who's sworn to win her back.
You're just asking for it, my love.
It's not like I want you to be a crazy, jealous possessive jerk, Mariana, but come on. Demand boundaries and respect, you deserve as much.
Once Mariana's gone, Julia admits to Armando that she's been avoiding him because she feels guilty after how badly she treated him, but now it's time to talk.
Armando continues to act like a baby and doesn't want to talk, MEC insists they should be grown ups and deal with it in a mature manner.
Julia Aparicio talking about maturity just boggles the mind.
They finally have the talk, and we find out Herpes got kicked out of his team because he came on to the wife of someone important enough to screw him over when they found out. Of course, he says that it was the other way around, that she came on to him and he said no.
Yes, Armando, I believe you. Oh, and I'm straight too, by the way, since we're making up stories to tell.
Miss Eternally Deluded (MED) tells him she's come to try to fix everything between them ask him to be friends. She cares about him a lot and that hasn't changed.
He states the obvious and tells her they can't be friends because his feelings for her haven't changed and never will.
You know, sometimes I want to live in Julia's Lala Land of rainbows, happiness and friendly exes.
Mariana's Loft. Night.
Mariana is annoyed Julia is talking about Armando with her. After all, things have changed, they are no longer just BFFs.
Julia hasn't fully returned from her Lala land and actually asks Mariana what's up with the long face. She doesn't get Mariana's moodyness, after all, can't she talk about her day?
I'm actually with Julia here. Mariana gives mixed signals. It's not okay for Julia to talk about Armando, but it is okay for her to spend the afternoon with him?
Later than night Mariana is still brooding in her bed. MED sweet talks her way into the bed, making jokes about the infomercial. Mariana gives in and just holds her.
Aww. It's sweet. There's love between these too, remember that as the story unfolds.
Now, I leave you with.....
....Juliana's full infomercial.
Because it's just too funny to not watch in it's entirety.
Mariana's Loft. Day.
The girls are making breakfast (tequila!) and being all nice and playful and in love. Since people come in and out at all hours of the day without asking for permission or calling ahead or anything, Hernan is there. He thought he'd drop by to say hi.
Fine. He's here, he's boring, I better get used to him.
Mariana's gotten used to him by now and doesn't seem annoyed to see him. In fact, she gives me a kiss on the cheek and invites him over for breakfast.
Julia's playing the nice housewive/hostess role and it's all cute and nice to Hernan,who says the food smells wonderful. It's all very domestic.
Utopio finds the coffee orgasmic (my words, but he really liked it), and Julia jokingly asks if she's good enough for marriage. Mariana panics at the word.
I would too if Miss Eternally Confused was my girlfriend, but I'm guessing Mari is just not ready for the big M.
They keep chatting and Utopio continues to overtly express his acceptance of the gayness: he bought himself a book to learn more about it, etc, etc. He's okay, at least he tries.
The phone rings, it's Armando, who has some crisis no one but Julia can solve. She says she'll go after breakfast.
Knowing this guey, he probably needs her to wipe his nose or something.
Armando's cave. Day.
He needed her to go grocery shopping I suppose, since she's putting veggies in the fridge.
He's doing his usual whining and begging her to rescue him. Julia tells him he can only save himself, but he won't accomplish anything if he doesn't try. It's unnerving to see Julia being a voice of reason.
Also, if you think that way, why are you babying him, woman?
Herpes keeps pushing her, asking her to come back to him, was it really so bad, he asks? For what I saw, god yes. For her and for us, but I guess Julia always was blinded by his penis. I can't relate to that.
He asks her if she faked her orgasms...she says, yes, sometimes, like every woman does.
Thank you Julia for giving me this:
Score! Wounded manhood, right there.
Anyway, he keeps pushing and they talk about why she left Spain. She admits she came back because she missed Mariana too much and couldn't be without her. What she felt for Emo, even if they weren't together then, was very strong.
Julia: Just like what I feel for you.
She stays to cook him dinner/lunch/whatever and after that, you just know it's gonna be a matter of time before she does him and we start wanting her dead.
Why do you do this to me, Julia?
Mariana's Loft. Day.
Also, why are you doing this to my girl, Julia?
Emo's home watching the weight loss infomercial and fretting. She tries to calm herself telling herself over and over to trust Julia.
No, Mariana, don't.
I wish this girl was honest about what she feels. It's obvious she feels uncomfortable about Armando being there, so tell Julia about it. Don't say it's okay just to make her happy then be miserable.
Armando's Cave. Day.
Julia tells Armando the food is ready and in the fridge, he just has to pop it in the microwave when he gets hungry. Thank God she didn't stay to spoon feed it to him.
He asks if he'll see her tomorrow and she says probably not, things are kinda complicated.
Herpes thanks her for everything and kisses her. She lets him.
Bring out your tequila, because when he pulls away Julia looks, yes, confused.
What happened to your gay wedding, guey?
This woman will drive us all mad.
Anyway, tonight I leave you with.....
....AlMeche! So you too can feel gross for having pervy thoughts about them together.