Ready? Let's go!
Nana is talking about passion and they keep milking for all it's worth the one sex scene they've given us.
No real reason to mention this, other that you might enjoy it. I did.
Armando's Cave. Night.
Last we saw them, the girls were there to propose something to Armando. If it was up two me, they'd be serving him a restraining order.
Apparently, Julia has dragged Mariana with her to her Lala Land of rainbows, happiness and friendly exes, and the duo come offering him their friendship.
A pact of peace and love is what they offer, says the Queen of Lala Land, aka, Julia.
Mariana doesn't seem so peaceful or loving, your Highness.
Mmm, I guess Utopio has rubbed off on them and they want to save poor Armando or something. They say they know he's been going through a hard time and they want to offer their support.
There's something kind of sadistic in the way Mariana points out how his life is in ruins, he lost his job and everyone's respect, he's all alone, he lost his woman, etc.
A bunch of sadomasochists these three.
Armando is defensive and sarcastic, first saying he had expected a least a threesome when they first arrived, then mentioning games (I assume they were naughty ones, but I didn't recognize them) they could play now that they'll be friendly friends.
The end of the world must be near because he's suddenly channeling me...I can't stress enough how much I think this whole business is a bad, bad, idea.
Anyway, he's kinda bitter too and suggests that all his woes are Juliana's fault, but Julia tells him his life is a consequence of his choices and that if he can't accept their friendship, then...
Julia: ...we're gonna ask you to, please, respect our relationship.
Julia actually had common sense at some point? I had totally forgotten this! What happened to you later, Jules? It must've been his penis that broke her, later on.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Armando finally gets fed up with it, tells them he's not interested and asks them to go.
I can't believe I actually agree with him.
Aparicio Central. Day.
The girls are cooking/working. Nana is talking about Renata's dad, who was such a great dad and never gave up on finding his daughter. Julia tries to shush her, cause you know, there's Mariana, whose dad just sucked.
Nana apologizes and Mariana broods a little, but then when they try to comfort her, she goes, 'psych!' and they all laugh.
Not sure WTF that was about, I guess that Mariana feels better about her deal with her pa.
Alma's Atelier. Day.
Armando is there to talk to Alma about his situation. I'm guessing he either has no friends or the production team wants to lower production costs by not hiring any new actors, EVER. So the characters have to keep interacting just with each other, even if it makes no sense that they would.
Alma's some sort of sex therapist too, so maybe it does makes sense.
He tells her he has no one else to talk to, and that he needs an honest friend, even though she is Julia's sister. The fact that he has zero friends is evidence of how much of a jerk he's been so far.
But anyway... he tells her he just can't understand how Julia could be with him and then with Mariana. I call bullshit because in like, episode 3 or something he tells her he knew she might be bisexual and wondered how it would be to be with her BFF. After that he always acted like Mari was his competition, so why so surprised now?
BS I tell ya.
He's also outraged that they proposed friendship to him. Alma's understanding and awesome as she always is, but asks him what exactly is it that he wants from her.
He doesn't want Alma to tell Julia to go back to him, he says (yeah, right), but he wants her to help him. Assmando wants Julia to be just with him.
Our Sex Goddess (Alma) tells him the only thing she can tell him is to explore his feminine side. He gets all homophobic and asks if he should turn into a fag then, and fall in love with his best friend (you have one, Herpes?)
How gross you are, Armando.
She says no, he should just explore his feminine side, and she can help.
Nooooooooo! What are you doing my Goddess? Don't help him.
Later that day, Alma is giving one of her classes, seminars, workshops or whatever. She's talking about passion. Armando is there looking all incognito.
Dude, nobody cares about you AT ALL, no one under the sun will care that you're there taking a chick class.
I'm kinda confused about Alma's classes, though. They're so easy to get into.... are they two day workshops or things like that? Or are they courses that have various classes?
And why are people always taking notes? Do they get a grade?
These things shouldn't matter but I do get curious.
Also, I'm mad at you for helping this guey, Alma. Not cool.
Mariana's Loft. Night.
Hernan (auugghhhh) arrives, apparently Mariana invited him over. It's just yet another scene of bonding where Mariana talks about Renata and Pinocchio and Geppetto and whatever.
Bottom line, she knows she's been difficult and has been rejecting his advances, but she's willing to be better if he too promises to be a better dad that fights for his child.
If I cared about his storyline at all, that would've been an 'awww' moment
But I can't relate to it at ALL. Sorry.
Julia's pretending to be working out. I say pretending because I see no sweat. I would very much like to see a sweaty Julia, particularly during sexy time with Mariana. If we ever get to see them do it again, I mean.
Herpes is there stalking her. Um, I mean, talking to her.
After one class with Alma he's a changed man. She truly must be a Goddess. He wants to accept her offer of friendship, after all, he loves her and if friendship is all she can offer him right now, how could he say 'no'? In the end, love is love and it is like a pendulum that swings back and forth and whatever.
And he says it with this hippie face:
Like he just discovered the g spot or something. Julia is understandably shocked and asks him if he's high.
Does Alma give away free pot brownies at her classes? Hey, she has manwhores, you never know with the Goddess.
Julia goes on to say that she finds it hard to believe that someone so hypersexual could be 'just' friends with a woman, let alone her. In which case, why did you propose it to him to begin with?
These chicks are bonkers, man.
Then he says something about nalgas being nalgas being the same everywhere and that just because he's a changed man doesn't mean that there are no values.
Okay, I know for certain that I am NOT high, so he totally must be.
Julia continues to be confused, as she very often is, however, this time I actually agree with her. But since she IS the Queen of the Lala land of rainbows, happiness and friendly exes, she accepts his proposition and they shake hands on it.
He's obviously changing tactics to win Julia back. DUH. Ay, Julia. What to do with you? If only you weren't so hot.
Mariana's Loft. Night.
Mariana and Utopio are still bonding. That's all you need to know.
Lists of things that Mariana loves: Julia's smile, going to the movies alone, horseback riding, etc.
Tonight I leave you with....
....Alma and Alejandro bonding! Because I really like those two together and I'm annoyed she keeps going back to that snooze, Leo!
Oh, and an extra gift...
....Semi naked Meche! Do I really need to explain?
Mariana's Loft. Night.
Oh, my God.
Utopio is still there and they continue bonding.
Why must you do this to me?
Okay, be strong, Nat, be strong.
Hernan asks her about Julia.
Main point about this scene: Mariana is deeply in love with Julia, can't see her life without her, but she's afraid that them being a couple could be their undoing because friendships last forever, yet couples break up all the time.
I disagree with that statement, but okay.
Aparicio Central. Day.
Sister time! I've missed this.
The sisters are discussing their woes and having breakfast (tequila!). Meche is still doing Claudio and is wanting him more by the minute, but she doesn't want to want him. Alma is still torn between Alex and Leo, and I continue to not get that.
Julia, however, is fine. All is cool, she's no longer confused about Mariana and Armando, she's clear and zen. To which I say:
Yeah, right, Miss Eternally Deluded. Yeah, right.
I really do like Julia, you know, she's adorable. But her fickleness is unprecedented.
Some Park. Day.
Hernan and Mariana keep bonding.
He's telling Mariana baby story. Apparently even as baby she liked to party, her second word was dad, he wants her to call him that again and I will bite my tongue and try to stop bashing Hernan.
I gotta say, I can't even relate to this. I get really uncomfortable when people tell baby stories about me like that.
Alma's Atelier. Day.
Class is in session.
Armando is still there, and Valeria is frantically taking notes (are there tests?). She's Alma's case of the week and he's looking at her all predatory.
Changed man, I'm sure, changed man.
The Goddess is still talking about passion and desire and Assmando asks if a bad romantic experience could turn someone gay.
So, ignorant, this guey. Part of me wants to give him credit for seeking enlightenment with Alma, but since he's doing it for the wrong reasons, I would have to take it away.
Alma says that no way and they keep blabbing away so I'll move on cause I'm bored.
Later on, when the class is over, Mrs. Aparicio scolds Armando for going to class just to check the women out. How would he feel, she says, if he was a woman being looked at like a piece of meat all the time?
He says he gets the point because, being a football player, he knows how it feels to be treated like a thing.
I doubt he's sincere.
Aparicio Central. Day.
Julia is giving Assmando a cooking class. Sure? Why not. In the Lala Land of rainbows, happiness and friendly exes, everything is possible.
He's trying to be all nice and cute, joking around and pretending to be charming, but it just comes across as very, very creepy. His hat doesn't help, although I do prefer it to his hair.
Mariana arrives and immediately turns into PAriana. She makes a show of kissing her woman in front of him and asks if this Armando's good twin, or maybe the bad twin pretending to be good.
Julia says that she's teaching him to cook or whatever because she doesn't want him to get lost in debauchery and drama now that his life's shit.
Mariana is not amused.
He tells them he honestly wants to try to accept their proposal and be friends. PAriana just rolls her eyes and gives Julia the evil eye.
I'm sorry, my love, but I must call bullshit on you too. You offered him friendship, or at least went along with Julia when she proposed it. Why are you annoyed now? What did 'friendship' mean to you? Seeing him only in the Aparicio holiday get togethers? No, you invited this asshole into your life/relationship because you are all insane, so now you have to deal with him.
Later on Julia asks Mariana how it went with Hernan. It was great, she says, they talked for hours and it was the best time she had in a while.
Damn your life must be very boring, guey, I'm very disappointed.
The Queen and her subjects continue to talk and cook like a good little family, only PAriana looks like she's grinding her teeth and wants to choke Armando with a handful of beans. Everytime he opens his mouth she has a sarcastic response and when he takes a bean between his fingers and talks about the importance of the g spot, her responses are just awesome.
First she tells him the g spot is NOT, in any way, like some bean, and then pities Julia, because if he's just learning this now, that means she spent a lot of time without some good g spot action. Still, that doesn't shut him up and Julia looks at him like, 'say wha?' when he talks about how squeezing the g spot between his fingers is very pleasurable for women or something along those lines.
I concur Julia, I concur.
Sarcriana (sarcasm+Mariana) keeps on going and asks him how he knows if he's not a woman, and for the killing blow, she says that she found Julia's g spot right away.
Judging by Julia's face, I'm thinking Mariana has many skills, like my beloved warrior princess.
All this talk makes me want to see a hot and heavy sex scene between these two...come on, pretty please? I have no life, I have to live vicariously through these people.
That's kinda sad, no?
When Nana drags Armando away to help set the table, Mariana complains about him being there. She thinks he's insufferable and has something up his sleeve.
I say, you made your bed, now lay in it.
Julia defends herself saying that he called her and asked her to teach him to cook because he was crippled and bored and wanted to do something productive, she just couldn't say no.
Mariana: That's the problem with you, Julia, you just can't say 'no' to that guey.
Very true. But, apparently, you can't say 'no' to Julia either, mi amor.
Later that night, the (un)happy family is doing dishes.
Herpes offers to help, because, you know, they have soo much to do and he wants to be supportive. He is really taking this charade very far, and Julia is buying it.
Julia gets some soap in her eye, and Assmando comes immediately to the rescue.
PAriana feels left out and leaves in a huff because...
Mariana: There's too many hands in one plate.
I repeat, you opened the fricking door for this too happen, and the worst is yet to come.
Insanity with these people, insanity.
Well, tonight I leave you with....
....Alma's little massage/ball thingy!
Because I'd never wanted to be an inanimate object till now!